Everything was unplanned the last few days. I tried to get more in touch with my inner self. I mean every little thing. As little as getting up and going somewhere. Hehe. That's not practically good. Right? Is it?
I love Haruki Murakami but even his book that I has just purchased and tried to read couldn't contain my feelings. Sleeping didn't work either. What passed my thought was the 'what if' I just ride the car and drive aimlessly anywhere until I feel at rest.
Yes. That must be it. I am going forward aimlessly because I am not sure what my heart should feel.
However it didn't mean I didn't enjoy my one night at kampung. I was actually relieved to see mum. I was worried she was having a hard time mourning the loss of Chiko. Thankfully she seemed relaxed. She even had on the knitted hat I knitted for her. She was happy and that made me happy a little. Apparently, to be happy isn't just about looking for things to occupy yourself with but also by making other people happy.
Anyway I am done with my rambling for the day. *smile.
Happy Malaysia Day!
Because two weeks ago I had spent a long time at kampung, the excitement to be there during the Malaysia Day holiday wasn't that much. But. . .of course I went back anyway, because I seemed to be non-functioning here alone in this house.
I am not sure how best to describe my situation then. I wasn't unhappy or sad. I was just unable to be on my stable state. You know like a normal person should be. Its all because hubby went back to his place. Hmmm. . .I guess it's not right to be married and be on your own most of the time.I love Haruki Murakami but even his book that I has just purchased and tried to read couldn't contain my feelings. Sleeping didn't work either. What passed my thought was the 'what if' I just ride the car and drive aimlessly anywhere until I feel at rest.
Yes. That must be it. I am going forward aimlessly because I am not sure what my heart should feel.
However it didn't mean I didn't enjoy my one night at kampung. I was actually relieved to see mum. I was worried she was having a hard time mourning the loss of Chiko. Thankfully she seemed relaxed. She even had on the knitted hat I knitted for her. She was happy and that made me happy a little. Apparently, to be happy isn't just about looking for things to occupy yourself with but also by making other people happy.
Anyway I am done with my rambling for the day. *smile.
Happy Malaysia Day!
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