Out of Place

I think I should balik kampung more often. It helps to balance me out as a person. I have this thought that, no matter how much time you saw it in the movie of how humbling it is to be among the people in the village, it's never the same as experiencing it first hand and many times over. 

I am not done with my holiday experience yet. I know I have wrote some. It just that ideas keep flowing out. This time it's about the feeling of coming to terms with real identity.

You are what you are constantly exposed to. I think it's true for anyone regardless of age and creed. It doesn't matter if you grow up in the village and later make a living in the city or vice versa. After a while you will wander from your true self. 

What I really mean by true self is someone who is not defined by his appearance, his job or the worldly materials he possessed. Someone who can look at the mirror naked and see what he/she has as a person; the character that defines him/her. 

I agree looks matter but character makes us interesting. However,  character cannot be faked by having things, worldly things. It definitely comes from 'inside'. It is the complex make up of both heavenly and worldly attributes. 

When I went back kampung on my last holiday I totally forgot about work. I didn't even think twice about my mismatched shirt and short. Interestingly, It happened that, in one of those unwinding days, I sat down on the staircase and took a look at my finely pedicured nails. It crossed my mind then of how strangely, I felt. I honestly felt the art on my nails were out of place. Not really me. I thought to myself " I have come this far of not knowing if painting these nails are important or not to me as a person". 

I overhead a caller commenting on the radio about The parody of Gangnam Style song. The caller said it was actually to serve as a sarcastic remark to the people in Gangnam area who has become very materialistic. If what he said was true, the question is " Are we going on that direction? Uri, saram?"

I love beautifying myself. It won't change. But more than that, I would really love to look like me. Not because someone said this and that should be my style but because I love looking at myself in front of the mirror and see the reflection of me. The true me. 

It doesn't matter even if I only have one piece of clothing and a pair of shoes. I think I can live just being me, naked or clothed.

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