Because of 50 cents

50 cents is not much. However, lately that 50 cents is something that keeps recurring in my mind.

When I was a kid, my parents worked really really hard to make ends met. During those time my mother who was then working as an attendant at a dispensary, always brought my third brother along with her to her workplace. That was how he learned something very important from her.

Because of 50 cents (a price to catch a pick up truck which was a common transportation for people to commute to places in those days) my mother and brother walked to and fro the Dispensary. They did that to save 50 cents. :) It was not an easy journey. They had to walk very far even over a hill.( I don't remember how far but by car it can be around 20 minutes or more??) It was not such a nice road. 

Nevertheless that 50 cents is something that my third brother never let go in his life. He really humbles me that way. While I live trying to find temporary fulfillment, he lives exactly to prepare for the future. 

For a while I have been blinded by what I think is right for me as in enjoying my youth as it is and enjoying my time now. I do think of the future but not aggressively. In my line of thinking, I should be happy now, buying whatever pleases me and just invest a little albeit consistent for the future. Maybe that is not so wrong. The wrong thing about it is that, I should invest more for the future rather than splurge on things for now to make me feel happy. Right??? I mean if you really think very deeply about life..whatever we are doing today, it is suppose to be our preparation for tomorrow, right???  And also..I think there is nothing wrong with trying to keep up an image but if you have to look at it in a different angle, my mother never owns anything (jewellery or new clothes) when we her kids were growing up. She invested all of her income for our future and her future so she didn't have to suffer in her old age. She did that and now we became who we are now and my parents are doing fine. I am proud of her. I think she is amazing and she did a great job both for her children and her own future. 

In the past we never really have much and even now, even though every one of us is working hard, we just merely able to get by (but of course far better than how we were). But we are most certainly blessed indeed because none of us is sick from untreatable disease, our parents are still healthy and living their old life doing what they want to do and most of all we have each other to turn to when things get tough.

You know, I am thankful that I have all that. I am happy that I have my brothers and my parents. I am happy that I am still able to learn from them even now. I am so blessed that because I have brothers by my side I can assess my life from time to time and I can listen to their word of wisdom or learn from how they live their life now. 

Indeed I am so blessed.

I think from now on, I will learn to save more aggressively for future sake. :) Come...lets do it together..ya??

Okay chinggus...

XOXO.

Passion

My father is a 62 year old man and he is busy constructing a bridge by himself. My mom is a 60 year old woman and she just finished attending night classes for English Language Courses.  She is now continuing her driving lesson. So it seems passion does not extinguished with age. My parents are my closest inspiration when it comes to pursuing a passion in whatever stage of life.

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The Joy of Giving

What is your take on giving?

I am little bit stingy. Reflecting on my attitude towards money, let just say if I can put a few words on it, I am someone who loves the idea of living frugally but also I love the idea of living at the moment. Now that is something hard to balance because needless to say the intuitive mind can possibly override the cognitive mind every time. 

When it comes to giving, I am always hesitant. You know being selfish and all I tend to splurge money on everything for myself. What a bad girl I am. I know.

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Into the sea of forgetfullness

The sea has a calming effect. There is something about it that makes you as how the water looks like; clean and transparent. Every time I go to the beach I simply lost in tranquility immersing myself fully with the wonderful panorama surrounding the sea. The clear water, the sounds of the roaring waves and the soft breeze blowing gently against my cheeks, I loved it all. I love it so much so I am able to open up and throw away all of my worries out there to be forever gone and buried beneath the sea.

When I am tired, confused, needed a breathing space, needed to cry, needed to smile, needed to share my feelings and needed to simply enjoy the magnificent view of God's wonderful creation I run to the sea.

I am not a good swimmer but I do love strolling along the seashore with bare feet. It is absolutely wonderful.At times like that, I would be reminded of my childhood of how spontaneous a child can be and how they can totally be happy and playful by simply being in a "playground" like a seashore. However, that youthfulness is nearly gone and adulthood teach us to forget much of the exuberance youth we once had. Worries and troubles gets in the way and perhaps before we know it, our youth has been fully sapped away.

As I was cooking for my brother this evening, I remembered much of this. I realized how lonely I feel these days and in that moment my thoughts turned to the sea. I remembered my grandmother as I always equate her with loneliness.I dug deeper into my soul and my heart and found NOTHING. I found nothing to stop me from feeling alone and lost.

I have no wish by the way, I only have faith that God will never forsake me and that I am going to pull through whatever circumstances I am in right now.

I can't lose hope. It's the only thing I got.

^_^