I have a complicated relationship with facebook. I am not sure how to put it in the right words. Just say, I have kind of grow to not really like it. Why so?
At first it was great to see again the faces of all the long lost friends but the excitement quickly diminished with time. It was exhausting just to keep up with everybody. Not that they wanted me to. But it felt like I needed to since they were there gracing the updated status news every second of the day and you know how powerful the facebook WERE.
The worst part for me was not the news. It was the jealousy. Jealousy always gets the best of me. I don't really know that wicked part existed in me until I came face to face with those things that really made me want to fall apart because of jealousy. Isn't that terrible to be jealous of people? I sound pathethic don't you think so? It's a shame to actually admit that. But its a fact, a real fact. You can't meet perfect people and not get annoyed by their perfection because it shows how much lacking you are and I really don't like that kind of feeling. It made me hate myself for being who I am which is totally irrational. How can I hate myself? And how can I hate perfect people or be jealous of their perfect lives?
In short, that was my main reason not to get engaged with the social network site the way I used to.
It's funny though because in a way it showed how unfriendly I was. But if you were me, would you rather have yourself be on the site and eaten up alive by your bad conscience or like me abandon it for good and start anew?
Do I not miss my friends? According to Malcolm Gladwell in his book entitled The Tipping Point, if we really were asked to list down the number of people we think we care about, the max would not get pass 12 people or so. The tipping point is 12 and after that it will only be someone you don't really quite care that much. He also implied that the number of people who can function well in one unit is only up to 150 people. That is the tipping point. Considering the fact that he presented was right, without arguing whether its true or not for your case, just how many friends you think you have added in your friend's list?
Back to the question above. I do miss my friends. But I have made up my mind to be much friendlier with those who really EXIST there in my day to day living as in you can see them in person than those who only exist virtually. You can't really do much with those who have moved on with their lives and have a different life than what you are living now. Can you?
However I am not saying that I don't have or hate facebook. Of course I do and I still think its a great platform to communicate with people or even strangers. It just that this time around I have a different goal.
Whatever it is I know this time, jealousy the big no no word will never ever gonna get the best of me. Yep. It won't.
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