The Right Environment

When was the last time you talk openly to someone? I mean really speaking openly because you feel peaceful enough to pour out your inner thoughts? The conversation need not be with a person, it can be with yourself. The right environment must have something to do with that. No? ^__^

There was a man that I really wanted to know when I was in university. But every time I saw him or with him, I felt so nervous I never spoke or did  the right things. I was totally out of character that our meeting always ended quickly with bad feeling lingered on the air. It was an awkward meeting with a man I clearly liked.

I am not sure why it was like that. Maybe when you like someone so much, it is hard to be calm. You  just go "crazy". On second thought, maybe I never met him in the right kind of environment that made me comfortable to reveal my true self to him in a good way. Maybe the kind of environment that could create a peaceful mind would rid the nervousness that weigh me down and turned me into a less than lovable person.

However, that was just an aftermath analysis and it doesn't matter anymore now. Sometime there is a man out there that you fall in love at first sight and you can't even hold your breath when he is around but in truth when you really are together with him nothing happens. It is just an awkward situation that doesn't feel right and no matter how much you wanted to right yourself for him, you can never fit in well. You are simply "not right" and cannot be "right" for him. 

Anyway, it doesn't hurt to start off with the right kind of impression by meeting in the right kind of environment. The right kind of environment will present you the opportunity and situation to be in your best element. 

It goes the same way with with everything. You can only be  at your best when you are given the right kind of environment to work in. It doesn't mean there is no trouble, it simply means you are contented enough to show your true quality by being in that environment.

Enrique in Flower Boy Next Door talked to Dok Mi about how the sea opened up his heart.. :)

When I was writing this down, I recollected a memory of myself talking to  my friends at the beach with the scenic view before my eyes totally sinking in to give me that calm peaceful feeling. I remember how totally open and transparent I felt that time. It felt as if the whole universe wanted to hear me talk and it was all because this beautiful sea in front of me. It was just a magnificent sight to behold. So..you know..it is good to talk when you are at peace. 

I also feel at best typing up letter by letter in this blog of mine when I just wake up in the morning and my mind is clear. The light FM channel that I turned on since the night before is really light, that it often creates a happy, cheery feeling upon waking up in the morning. I can always just grab a book, read 50 pages, take a shower, prepare a cup of hot chocolate with two slices of white bread and bring it on the table, sit down in front of my net book and ready to talk my heart out.

By the way, I did meet that "man" in the right kind of environment years after I graduated. In fact, it was the last meeting that really made me want to put up the sign "V", as victory because finally..finally I was talking like myself. Unfortunately, in the twisted turn of events, I no longer had that "butterfly feeling" towards him. I felt that he was still the same but I have changed. I no longer found him attractive. I only saw a boy that need some growing up.  Oppss..

Well..you just don't want to miss the opportunity. Right?

Right there and be COOL. 

XOXO

*Sipping her almost cold hot chocolate*