Me & My Chicken Story II

I really love chickens :). I mean that literally...Just watching at chicken for hours can give me a sense of comfort that couldn't be match by anything else. * imagine a weirdo smiling crazily*...

When I am awake, you can say..chickens are my object of desire...BUT

When I am asleep...I am totally terrified by it...

So there you go again with my latest dream of chickens..

The hen looked like this (but a bit weak) : Credit to GOOGLE

In the house? Somebody have brought these pair of a hen and a chick where they were not supposed to be..so needless to say there were chicken droppings on the floor which really angered me. I got mad and was looking for the responsible person. How can a person rear a chicken in the house??

...Then I wake up...* let me rephrase that. *I got scared. ( I think I shooked my spirit to wake up not wanting to continue it..**is that right**).. Here we go again.. another problem is coming up?..but this time I think..the problem belongs to someone else..just that, I have to  be the one who needs to face it...

Now..now..am I superstitious....???

Or is this how the world works sometime..the unfathomable.

I Will Promise You

Life is not a bed of roses (image: Credit to GOOGLE)

I want to make a quick entry today to say hello and maybe to share some of my thoughts these few days. How are you all my fellow bloggers? :)

As it turned out, I did encounter some "unpleasant" events. Because of that, I am forced to reconsider a lot of things. I probably have to make a lot of change from here onward. :)

I am not ready to talk about what sorts of things that happened, but you know.. "it is well with my soul"...:) (Nothing tragic really... :). I believe everything happen for a reason.

It can be as simple as "a wake up call".

Since there were mixed things that happened, it is actually hard to write my thoughts about each and every one of it. However, in short I just want to share that although I am terribly worry as of now, I am happy that it brought us (family) together. It has been a long time, since we (family) share one room together, sleeping on the floor. :)

*tears welled up on my eyes right now* 

My promise is that, I will always be there for my love ones, no matter what it takes. :)

* fighting!!!!

I am blessed indeed

The Chicken Story

I just went home from auditing two poultry farms and...right now, I am in a very happy mood because I met  a lot of happy chickens today :)..*LOL ( No I didn't talk to them, but I looked at them..very observantly).. eheheheh... You can say, I am also the happiest when I visited happy animals in a very nice well managed farm. 

But also..last night I had a very (half) bad dream. You know...I talked about dreaming about animals and how certain kind of animals symbolized certain kind of thing??? Since of all the animals..chickens are closest to my heart..when I dream about chicken..it means (bad omen  involving me??)...and it happened that yesterday night I dreamed about three layer chickens (hen) lying on the littered floor (either unconscious or dead???). I thought it was either dead or unconscious because the minute I saw it..I was trying to revive two of them (one of them just laid an egg)..and then I woke up. However, I didn't feel "fearful or scared or sad" in my dream.. I was just trying to revive the animals.

Credit to GOOGLE

I know this might sounds crazy..but every time I had a chicken dream..I anticipate problems likely to arise which depend on the state of the chicken. If the chicken is dead, it might means I am "dead" as well as in the problem that I am going to face is a very big one that I won't be able to overcome it. 

However, in my dream..before I saw the three unconscious or dead chickens, I saw and held a white hen which was SMALL but quite HEAVY and in my dream my gut feelings told me that the chicken was about to lay eggs. In a sense, it was also giving me hope that whatever It is that I am going to face...there is yet another hope. 

Well...All I can say for now is that.. I had a great day so I am just going to enjoy the brighter side of life.. :)

I hope you are too!

XOXO

I have a Type..

Hellow..hellow... :)

Today's post is for fun..in case you think I am going to write something...serious..but it's not..

I am just totally...missing my other half..and so..today..I am reminded to write something about.."type".

Do you have a "type"..I think I do. I actually never thought about it and never once thought that I actually have a "type"...but then..when I think about all the guys that I have dated. I must confess, only one of them was actually an odd one..(maybe because he was a childhood crush)..

And the person who told me that I have a type was...my younger brother.. to my surprise..:)

So..lets talk about.."attraction"

Credit to Google

So..up above is the picture of famous actor Lee Min Ho.. I tell you what. I really like looking at this type of guys. I love them being lean, tall, big eyes, sharp nose, full lips.. ekekekek (please don't laugh  :P)

Choi Jin Hyuk : Credit to Google

But..I ended up marrying  that (picture above) type of guy...ekekekeke.. (yess...yess..my husband is good looking  :P) ..and I am average. hihihihi Okay. So the kind of man that I dated, mostly are the variation of Choi Jin Hyuk. Do you believe that??? :)...*LOL.. 

By the way..to tell you the truth..when I first met my husband..I was actually eyeing for his friend..but I ended up  having a great conversation with him and the rest was history.. :) (with ups & down). So I wasn't actually attracted to him, I got comfortable with him which means to say...its not always about the first impression. You just need to have a great conversation to start of a relationship. 

and..That's it...  (just for fun)... :)

Do you have a type??? 

To Be Strong

To attract people you need to be a  strong person. Why? Because people naturally attracted to those who have strengths. Ironically those who attracted people didn't become attractive because they work hard to please other people. They simply become admirable because they work hard on themselves to be good at what they are doing and in doing that they become  STRONG in character and with STRONG presence. Isn't that something to ponder?

The minute you try to imitate other people you lose yourself and become a weak person. We should never do that. We must become strong by believing in our own strength.

If you try to live this life thinking that people will remember you better because you have been good to them, I think you will probably get that wrong. People seldom remember you because you have been good to them unless you are the lovers and the one being loved. If you are just somebody, well..they might remember you when they need another round of kindness or so called help. But if you are strong, unique and someone with your own distinct character people will never forget you.

To stand out in the crowd it doesn't mean you have to dress up in certain way that will attract people. You need to catch people for the long run, so what you need to do is just to be comfortable with yourself. People stay because of who you really are and it will be better if they are attracted to you because you have that STRONG presence that nobody else have. 

You only feel weak if you have not found your true strength but don't worry about it because in time you will find your strength. You just need a lot of mistakes to recognize your strong points. Okay??

Just sending my encouragement and love this early morning.. :)

Luv you all

XOXO

DIY

What comes to mind when DIY is being spelled out?

I am sure there are a lot of things that we can do ourselves. It is not limited to sewing your own clothes or other  project that don't include hiring other people to do it or buying ready made stuff with money.

Since I get serious with the so called aggressive saving, I have been realizing a few other things about DIY. Last year I started with cooking for myself which includes preparing meal for my breakfast and for my lunch so I don't have to go out to have my meal. This year, because I realized even more the importance of saving money, I noted and realized a few other things that may help me a lot in my goal to save more.

I realized that, DIY is not something that upon mentioning makes you feel stressed because of the amount of time and hardwork that you need to spend on it. DIY is also not something that can be done only by those with a lot of time to spend.

I realized that DIY is an essential. It is something that makes you keep away from being totally enslaved by money.

I have went through a few stages in my life where money is being the question. When I was very young, I knew little about money but I knew that my parents were going through a hard time to make ends met. I understood then, that It was important to have money to survive.

When I was a teenager, I have money enough to get by my schooling years. But money was never a problem because I lived simply and my goal back then was just to excel in my study.  There were no such things as going to the hairdresser to cut my hair. No make up kit, no new shoes or sandals every now and then and definitely no cute stuff.

I learned about handling money only when I started working. (Just like everyone else). Because I don't want to make a lot of mistakes about handling money, I read a lot of book about financial management but of course theory is often not always practical because different people will have different situation and we often handle money depend on our own unique situation.

I must confess at one point of my life I was a little obsessed with the idea of "getting rich". Thank God just when I was about to get confuse with the whole idea about being rich I read a verse in a bible (Mat 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well )& coincidentally I attended a youth conference that speak about the same term. I thank God at that time that I was being taught at the right time to look for what is much more important to me before wealth and honor which is seeking for God's wisdom.

When things has started on the straight line, I have more and more clearer ideas about money and I am happy that it is never about money after all.

Like when the eye of my mind was opened to understand the meaning of DIY. I realized that life is about doing things as in encouraging yourself to become creative, innovative and also becoming active & that is not because you don't have money. It is because there are plenty of ways to live in this world without being obsessed about having more money to spend. Right??

I Am Happiest When..

I am happiest when I start doing something that I truly like...for example "reading a slide"...ehmmm..* smiling broadly.  

Dear Chinggus..

Since life become busier, I feel much better about life. I am now mostly occupied doing things that I love. How nice is that. Well..I must say...the secret in passing time wonderfully is by engaging in work every second of the day without feeling pressured by the demand of the task. Right??

Today, I have started doing something in my work place. Because of that, I am truly excited and looking forward to expand my knowledge and expertise in the so called new "task".

I think that, being a professional it means that we don't just do a task but also have the credibility and competency to run the task we are responsible with. I really don't like being a half-baked worker. When I do something, I want it to be perfect. Of course perfection is not something you can achieve easily but I feel that it is something that I must achieve. I want to become someone reliable for my opinion and the job that I did.

I think, it is given that an employee must give his or her best when she or he is performing a task. But also it is also given that the same person must continue on learning and expanding her or his knowledge and not  become complacent.

You have to train yourself to do work until you become excellent at it. Why? Because you ...could be the only one who can do it. :)

Okay..

Happy Working all and GBU!!

XOXO

Small Gain VS Big Gain

Dear Boys& Girls..How are you all today?? :), I am my very cheerful self this morning. I think Its because everything run smoothly this early morning until this moment. I wake up early to cook for my lunch. I don on my favourite green peplum top matched with black skirt and I apply a pink lipstick, medium greenish eyeshadow and brighten up my eyes with copper shades eyeliner. I think I look fabulous. hihi..

It is so nice to wake up and to prepare for the whole day feeling absolutely fantastic, isn't?

Last night. I slept at 10.25pm after finishing a book entitled Kafka On the Shore written by Haruki Murakami. As usual he captivated me with his magic of storytelling. He had this very amazing way of fleshing out character that I can actually imagine all the characters described in his book. That way, there was no way I couldn't fall in love with it. 

On a different note, apart from reading book, recently I have been playing Miner's Game and what really made me think about this game is that, although there are many pieces of gold scattered on the uppermost layer of the earth that can be easily fished out, the most valuable one resides on the most deepest layer. To get it however, it takes a lot of energy and effort to aim right. 

What I think is wonderful isn't about the game itself. It is the correlation between that game and our aim in life. By looking for the small gain aka temporary fill, we are actually overlooking the much bigger gain which probably due to it needing a lot of effort and time to make it happen. However just like in the Miner's Game, if we make an effort and aim right for the big gain, we can easily win OUR GAME in life. I mean, compare to temporary and small gain like owning a new gadget, owning a saving or a house is something that definitely  can guarantee us a better life. Right?

Gaining big thing is what I am thinking deeply these days. Not that I never thought about it but right now I am in the midst of making a crucial decision about my take on purchasing for temporary pleasure or for a far more worthwhile purchase in the future.I think  purchasing things for temporary pleasure can wait but then again..it can also means I am postponing my happiness for something that I can only get after saving for a long time. I think because of the kind of person that I am (reckless at times, spontaneous and impulsive most of the time..it doesn't sound like I am going to be a good candidate for a bright future (pitying the soon to be old me..if I ever reach that age)

But..I am going to change that..So..what I am going to do is,  I am narrowing my list of needs and desire so it will be easier for me to aim for the Big Thing rather than placing the Small Thing as my purpose in life. Get it..

Whatever it is..I just want to be Happy.. :)

I hope you are Happy too..

Have a nice day!!

Love

XOXO

Serve Well Happily

First of all..let me just say..I am sorry for not updating this blog as often as I want it to be. The thing is, I really am occupied lately. The burden of work have increased. But I am not complaining. I am actually happy. I think that, what you can really do as an act of "revenge" to those people who keeps piling up a job for you to do is to do it well and MOST of all to do it HAPPILY.

Lately, the word stress has not been so much on my mind. I mean, how I perceived stress has changed dramatically. Of course I did get annoyed and I know its not right to feel that way, but at least at the back of my mind I understand that it is not something that I should continue on feeling.

It is also difficult to change your perspective when you are surrounded by negative influence. But I am going to learn to keep my attention on what is the priority for me despite the difficult circumstances. My priority is to SERVE WELL HAPPILY. 

I think when it comes to attitude, the way to change is to do it one step at a time. You aim for the right goal or right attitude and keep on persevering until you reach your goal. Yess??...please look at it that way! ya??

Well..I really am satisfactorily tired today. My duties are lining up but I am not stressed out right now. I am happily organizing and doing each task one by one wholeheartedly. To me doing my job to the best of my ability is one thing that I want to be proud of at the end of the day. 

Just..enjoy your work ya..!!!

Love you all...

;)

XOXO

Because of 50 cents

50 cents is not much. However, lately that 50 cents is something that keeps recurring in my mind.

When I was a kid, my parents worked really really hard to make ends met. During those time my mother who was then working as an attendant at a dispensary, always brought my third brother along with her to her workplace. That was how he learned something very important from her.

Because of 50 cents (a price to catch a pick up truck which was a common transportation for people to commute to places in those days) my mother and brother walked to and fro the Dispensary. They did that to save 50 cents. :) It was not an easy journey. They had to walk very far even over a hill.( I don't remember how far but by car it can be around 20 minutes or more??) It was not such a nice road. 

Nevertheless that 50 cents is something that my third brother never let go in his life. He really humbles me that way. While I live trying to find temporary fulfillment, he lives exactly to prepare for the future. 

For a while I have been blinded by what I think is right for me as in enjoying my youth as it is and enjoying my time now. I do think of the future but not aggressively. In my line of thinking, I should be happy now, buying whatever pleases me and just invest a little albeit consistent for the future. Maybe that is not so wrong. The wrong thing about it is that, I should invest more for the future rather than splurge on things for now to make me feel happy. Right??? I mean if you really think very deeply about life..whatever we are doing today, it is suppose to be our preparation for tomorrow, right???  And also..I think there is nothing wrong with trying to keep up an image but if you have to look at it in a different angle, my mother never owns anything (jewellery or new clothes) when we her kids were growing up. She invested all of her income for our future and her future so she didn't have to suffer in her old age. She did that and now we became who we are now and my parents are doing fine. I am proud of her. I think she is amazing and she did a great job both for her children and her own future. 

In the past we never really have much and even now, even though every one of us is working hard, we just merely able to get by (but of course far better than how we were). But we are most certainly blessed indeed because none of us is sick from untreatable disease, our parents are still healthy and living their old life doing what they want to do and most of all we have each other to turn to when things get tough.

You know, I am thankful that I have all that. I am happy that I have my brothers and my parents. I am happy that I am still able to learn from them even now. I am so blessed that because I have brothers by my side I can assess my life from time to time and I can listen to their word of wisdom or learn from how they live their life now. 

Indeed I am so blessed.

I think from now on, I will learn to save more aggressively for future sake. :) Come...lets do it together..ya??

Okay chinggus...

XOXO.

Looking For That One Thing

I love blogging because it allows me to speak up my mind in a more detailed manner. I have stayed away from updating my status in FB and Twitter because it only allows a few lines of sentences to be published at one time. I disliked it. I need to elaborate my point of view the way I wanted it to be understood if I ever made a choice to make it public.

On a totally unrelated matter, I am actually thinking about..."passion" and "longing. One of the main reasons why I tried not to associate myself with the social network is because each time I encountered a person who had a very "distinct" hobby and passion, I was always overwhelmed by how much that person passionate about their hobby or passion. It made me feel left out as in "why am I not there yet?? Or Do I really have something that I like or passionate about which is totally unique to me??? Those kind of questions..bugs me.

I am not jealous..(a little maybe..*cough *cough), but I do not want to feel that I am ...uninteresting or that I am lacking so much, there is nothing truly unique about who I am as a person. Well..that's not totally true. Right?? But..who I am..and what I am proud about myself that lurking into the creativity of others left me ..empty and plain. :(

Hehehe..Anyway. I shouldn't be so hard on myself right? Every one is special in their own way. Sometime you don't see it but others do. Perhaps I should look at myself from other people points of view. I need to know me. I need to understand myself better and keep on looking for the right area to shine.

You agree with that chinggus??? :)

We have to. Lets keep on living to the fullest + challenge ourselves until we find that One thing.

Love 

XOXO

I Know You

It is easy to understand my nephews and nieces if they take after my sides of family (my brothers) because..when you are related, some part of you is there and it is evident and cannot be not understood.

When I became an adult, I realized I understood my mother better than when I was growing up. It was easier because I was able to see the glimpses of me in her or the glimpses of her in me. Not only in appearance but also our strengths and weaknesses. I concluded that in order for me to improve myself is by trying to understand her better and deciding exactly how I should  face things differently if I disagree with her ways of doing things. It's like assessing my other self making a move and decided to follow suit or change it to yield a different result. We do have differences but I think, more than differences, we bear much more similarities. 

Having blood relatives means having the same kind of blood and DNA running in the veins and because of that same genes, you cant deny your relationship. Even if you were born in a different part of the world, your genes will eventually shows who you really are. It's a pre-determined inborn characteristic. You have it in you and hence, there is no way to deny it. Right??..

You might wonder, why I posed such an opinion (to be considered). Well..it is because, sometime when we feel lonely, we always try to look for someone similar to us and often than not we found that similarities in our family..only. We gather together with our family because that is where we are most comfortable and place where we can share common things comfortably. There is no hiding true self, no acting, no pretending and certainly no agendas or whatsoever. What you see is what you get. However even in that similarities, we tend to isolate from our family and look for the opposite outside of our home. We think home is scary (because we know everything inside the family) and so we venture out looking for a safer place albeit living by ourselves. 

While looking for our identity not dictated by our family, it is good to venture out and not safely hiding, locking yourself in your family home. A good journey out in the world will make us understand the way of the world but soon when we are weary, we will soon realize that the safest place on earth is still where you were born and, the people who understand you the most and will always accept who you really are is your family.It doesn't even matter if that place will harm you and your whole family. You just want to stay rooted where you are and died with those you cared the most. 

...missing my family...

My Teeth Dream

I have been having teeth dreams the last two nights. In my life when it comes to teeth dreams it always indicate "a relationship"..if I pulled out a tooth effortlessly without pain, bleeding or oozing pus as a result of it, it means I cut out a relationship safely without causing hurt. However, I only knew about it that much without knowing well to whom that dream may implicate. I don't know who is going to involve or when it is going to happen.

Yesterday night, I dreamed four of my teeth were rotting and although I managed to pull out some part of the teeth, the roots were still there stained with dried blood.

Last night I dreamed, I pulled out two of my teeth. I didn't feel any pain and it was a clean pull. I wonder who are they that I am pulling out of my life.

Because of my last night dream, I am especially careful today. I know you might think that I am superstitious but I'd like to assert that I only come to this kind of conclusion about the meaning of each dream after witnessing it happening many times in my life following the same type of dreams prior to the unfolding events. Do you believe me??? :P. well...you don't have to of course. It just that..(trying to explain my point of view here), I think we can't really understand all things using logic. Some are messages coming in many forms like dreams that we need to decipher. Because that kind of things is unique to each of one us, we can't really ask for another person to make us understand it. It is like understanding your own individuality. Except God, the only one who knows who you really are, is you. You only need to choose between believing in it or not. Some people say, if we do not believe in something, we will fall for anything. So, I choose to believe in myself and the truth that I found unique to myself. 

So there you go...I wonder...but not anticipating..I can' be anxious of the things destined to happen. Right?? Should I??

Have a wonderful week end..chinggus. I am having a fun day here..:)

Love you all

XOXO

My Thoughts on Mary Stayed Out All Night

I was finally able to watch and finish the episode 16 of Mary Stayed Out All Night. I can't believe it has been two years since it was aired and how I streamed it online to see all of the episodes of MSOAN just so I could be satiated. However, I could never bring myself to watch the full content of the final episode because I couldn't bring myself to watch Kang Mu Gyul heartbroken when Ma Rie and Jung In sort of "pulled a prank" and held a not to be a wedding ceremony. I also had the most conflicted time to choose between wanting Wi Ma Rie to end up with Jung In or Mu Gyul.  Truthfully I wanted her to end up with Jung In and maybe it was because...character wise I couldn't believe Mu Gyul will stay true to Ma Rie or will ever commit himself to a real relationship because of how shi**y his background was. But I had to agree..Moon Geun Young and Jang Geun Seok seemed to be the most compatible pairing on screen and off screen. 

Moon Geun Young as Wi Ma Rie

Now that I finally finished it, I can at least give my last thought about Mary Stayed Out All Night. First of, I liked the fact that it was a rom com and Moon Geun Young nailed Wi Ma Rie character right on the dot. Wi Ma Rie was easy to adore. She was sincere, caring and most of all loyal.

Kim Jae Wook as Jung In

Jung In on the other hand was so fragile and willing to live his life dictated by his father. He was awkward and seemed to only had the ambition to be successful in his business and nothing else until he met Wi Ma Rie and seemed to prepare to really court her for real. He did fall in love with Ma Rie but he decided that he wouldn't be persuaded to marry her for his own benefit or because his father asked him too. I was a little sad..that they didn't end up together actually...because ...I did want my angel to save him and love him..hehehehe...

Jang Geun Seok as Kang Mu Gyul

Kang Mu Gyul was a free spirited man who was gifted with both look and musical talents. The other side of him however was not so completely neat. He was a man who couldn't understand the meaning of a family until he met Wi Ma Rie who persuaded him to sign a contract to be her fake husband for a 100 days. All because Wi Ma Rie wanted to get away from an arranged marriage with Jung In planned by their respective father. Things turned sweet for them after they get to know each other better. They fell in love land Kang Mu Gyul career as a musician slowly took off. Hence, they both can finally had a more comfortable relationship and lived together as a couple.

As the final curtain drawn, I'd say, I was a happy camper...nothing more..nothing less. I have said what I wanted to say..maybe...???..huhu

okay okay..I need to get back to work now..this is bad..

Happy working chinggus!!!

XOXO

To Build Real Relationship

Working and living happens at the same time. However, most of the time the people that comes to our life especially during our adult life when we are in the working stage are mostly people related to our work. Sometime we relate to them mainly because they are our co-workers or if they happens to be our suppliers we relate to them for business purpose. Rarely we relate to people because we wanted to build a real relationship with them as friends. They are merely an acquaintances.

I realized living while working without real relationship can be very lonesome. Because I don't want to live a lonely life, I decided to appreciate everyone in my working place not just as office mate but also as real friend. I want to understand and relate to them as friend because I really do not want to see them outside of the office and feel like they are strangers or someone I could not relate beyond the office work. My way of approaching things is that I try not to be someone who loads people with works that I myself do not want to do and at the same time I try to do as much work as possible or else I do my best to guide them to how I want things to be done by proper instructions and guidelines.  

The most important thing is, when I feel a connection with a colleague, nowadays I try my best to build a real relationship. In my opinion, if we have a real relationship with our colleagues at the workplace, even if we somehow made a mistake, a friend will be more understanding and won't be so harsh to back stab you or bad mouth you. Of course it doesn't mean I do not want to be criticized but there is always a difference between a concerned friend and plain critic. Right?

Right there...

Just a simple thought from me...for today...

Luv you all.

XOXO

What I Recently Watched

1) Ice Age 4.

I have watched almost all Ice Age series and I am loving all the characters. I especially have a soft spot for Diego because I found him really brave and charismatic?? (ekekekek). He abandoned his pack (bad pack) to be with his trusted friends Sid & Manny. I enjoyed every character actually. I loved the sincere simple minded Sid, the strong willful Manny and yeah..the clumsy rodent who are seriously obsessed with nuts.

2) From Up on Poppy Hill

This is a Japanese animated drama film with heart. I really like how it portrayed the people of Japan and their commendable culture. What I really like is how the main character, Umi take up her responsibility very seriously without slacking off. Her attitude in this story is something, that made me think about my own way of living. I think I need sometime to digest everything that I am thinking about this anime before I can really put it into words.

3) Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

Nothing much about this movie. I think it was just okay. However, I loved the scenic view of the lagoon in particular.

4) Budak Pailang

I really liked the first half of this movie, however it fell flat like a deflated balloon the second half. I really couldn't comprehend the sudden change in character of the two leads. There was no consistency in character. That's all I am going to say. However, the actress was damn pretty. isn't she ? :)

5) Big Miracle

Except for the "dry" trying to sound cool script, I do really like this movie. It's good that it was based on a true story about three whales trapped in Alaska and how many people came together to rescue it.

In short, 1) I really like cartoons, 2) I like anime even more and 3) Movie is really hard to like... :P

Okay. That's all for today.

Love

XOXO

A New Joy In the Family

A new baby is born

As you can see on the picture above (I have bought a few baby items as a present)..there is a newborn in the family. My younger brother is now officially a father. :) I am joyful myself because it means I have got a new nephew.. what a wonderful news to the family.. Praise The Lord.

I have wanted to share this news even earlier but I really was occupied and I am suffering tiredness these days. :)

I would have shared with you the born of a new baby as well 5 months ago which was the son of my second brother if only I made up my mind to share it on the spot but I keep postponing it because I was thinking of sharing with you the whole event on that particular day.. It's a missed opportunity. I hope I did not make a mistake of postponing the news this time around. There is indeed no better news than a news of a newborn baby. Right???

Of course..

XOXO

Your Personal Space is your Identity..

Since 5S started in my workplace..I mean really takes its effect in my workplace, I have been really enjoying myself doing all the arranging and decoration. I am fully using my imagination as if the whole room is in my head and I am picking stuff from the sky full of imagination to fill it up with things that I think will make it tremendously unique but nice. I am determined to make my room, a room that only me will be able to create it in such a way. If people walk in inside my office I would let them see who I am. That is my goal. 

This of course reminds me of one thing which is "identity". There are limits in conversation when we are trying to get to know people. However what lacking in words can be made up with his or her personal space. When you try to get to know someone you will know that person better when you see her or his room. This is of course not a fresh idea. It is an idea that everyone knows. This is how some reality show is made of. I don't remember the title but it was a show where a man or a girl was brought into different types of rooms and let her or him made a decision to date that person based on how she or he perceived his or her personality from the things she or him has in the room. I can agree to that. :)

Even bacteria only shows its true characteristic if you put it by itself or purified it in a media without the presence of other bacteria. A man is no different. Everyone needs a space for themselves to project their identity. It is the place where you can let people read you like a book and grabs their heart or scares them away.

I truly believe that if we really want to be happy, we must really do things that make us happy and one of those things are decorating your house or your office in such a way that brings you not only peace but joy because of how things are placed and arranged in front of you. It doesn't mean you are hoarding stuffs. It means you start to look for things that really makes you happy and try to get it (even if it cost you some money) because you need to enjoy life as it is. You can't keep postponing life to enjoy it later. You must enjoy it now and especially so where you are living and working.

Back to my story. I have bought this mini box to shelf my few favourites books and books that I am reading now (Kafka on the Shore and Wild Swans) to  bring to the office along with my seldom worn hand & body lotion and perfume spray. I thought of flipping this favourites books of mine when I am not so busy during the day. It would help to realign my thoughts every time I stray away from my main focus in life because these books contain some of the ideas I personally believed and try to put into practice in my life.

I believe words can change people perspective and whatever you believe in will define you as a person. I believe that reading and reaffirming that belief again and again is the best way to cultivate the right attitudes. Right?

Thanks to 5S I am now doing something I should have done years ago.. 

Don't you thing quality program is a real help when you really put your heart into it?

I am blessed indeed.

XOXO

The Tamu

Before I move on to a serious "talk"..maybe I should start with a light story first..:)

Wacaaaaa...How are you all? I am so damn tired and restless the past few days. It was like I never had my full energy from morning till night and even after sleeping punctually at 9pm I still don't feel energetic. ugh!!! The last few days must have taken its toll on my not so fit body. I should really start exercising..right?? 

By the way..ehemm...I tried my hardest to drag myself out of the house and enjoyed the farmer's market today..because you know..I really missed the chaotic market. This is the only place where you don't have to feel awkward mixing with people from various walks of  life because they are all in casual mode and not out there trying to impress anybody. People just come by to buy whatever things they needed and it is so very convenient because you can take your pick from the row of stalls that offer you various items from foods, flowers,clothes to pet. It's the mix of everything and it is so interesting because the sellers are allowed to attract people attention by using whatever devices they have like microphone. You can even put your "acting" skills to your full advantage and demonstrate to people how things work. It's a lovely sight. :)

And guess what really makes me..happiest?? when I can casually look for knickers laid on the mat at the cemented ground while the seller enjoyed her food. :)...* ekekeke..I mean you can't do that in the supermarket right?? The atmosphere is way too formal to act..informal?? I don't know what is the right term. But it is a difference between behaving in a certain way when you are in a different kind of situation. In short, you can just loosen up and enjoy yourself. It doesn't even matter how you turn up to the market. I even turned up a few times there..without washing up or brushed my teeth..ekekekek..:)

Earrings

One of my harvest this morning in the market is that pretty earrings (the left pic). Ehem...does it look nice?? :)

Of course I bought the most important thing as well which is vegetable. This is the place where you can find various types of fresh vegetables. If you have been eating lots of not so fresh vegetables from the supermarket, Saturday is the right time to make up for those days because in farmer's market the choices are immense. 

The Thing That Matter Most???

Don't make the same mistake of being self-centered favouring upon your work and your needs and therefore neglecting other people or your family. I read that somewhere and I do agree with that statement. But also looking at it in a different perspective I want to understand it much better. Hence, I write this article to gather my thoughts about this matter.

I know a certain somebody who really prioritize her own personal matters over work that often she left her job unattended or attended by others. She only wanted to know the result and not the process of how the work can be carried out. She is not open for discussion because it takes her time from doing her other important matters. She loves instructing and delegating duties but blind to the overall process. In short, I do not see why personal matters reign supreme than her work. She jeopardized other people efforts by simply being so into her own personal matters.

I know I am judging but hey..this is the reason why I go "kaput" every time work is mentioned in my dictionary. It is like a traumatic word because it reminds me of people who really have no interest in working at all. Just imagine if everyone in this world is only interested in their own personal matters.

I like people who take good care of their family and the people around them but also I like them even more for knowing when to draw the line between working effectively and functioning fully as a human being in recognizing and attending other people or family needs. I understand that family comes first but don't tell me it includes for example asking the driver to send your husband to the market because as far as I know the driver is not hired to attend to your personal needs. You don't pay his salary. Right? I am just saying.

I am sorry, I went a little overboard just now..ekekeke..So, honestly I am no better myself. As you perfectly know by now, I really am kind  of living my life completely like..all by myself. But it is not like I do not want to actively participate in society at large. It is because, in few words there are things I could not accept as of now to involve in certain kind of activities. I am not only scared but also I am not willing to be manipulated to portray a certain kind of image people are trying to make me into. Okay..that sounds...weird and confusing right?? hehehe..Well, I am not ready to explain that. But I agree..I shouldn't stay passive. I must look for ways to participate in some social activities that will help me to help others. Right??

Just one thing..being a woman is both an advantage and disadvantage. The disadvantage is that no matter how smart you are, men aren't always ready to accept it. But then again, just being a woman is already tough. It is because you are by society standard required to be PERFECT or SUPERWOMAN. You must have a good job (with high salary if possible so the man will have no worry to feed you, clothe you and attend to your needs and desires), you must be beautiful with flawless skin and svelte figure (or else the man will cheat on you and blame it on you for having a bloated figure), you must know how to cook (or the man will find a reason to go home late because you are not cooking), to keep the house clean (must not feel tired and do all that without fails regardless of how busy and tired you were at work), you must be socially adept to know how to please the family especially the MIL and FIL or the aunties and uncles (no excuse of PR problem or lack in social skills), you must make sure the children are bathed, clothed, fed and educated (you act as the personal tutor to check the homework or if you failed to teach them, you are deemed failed as a parent), you must keep tabs on the bill to make sure it is being paid, the groceries all bought and in short to always get up at 4.30am in the morning and sleeps at 12.00am in the morning just so everything run smoothly. I am not sure about you..but hey..it is not easy being a woman.

Anyway..since my topic is all about not being self-centered and about to not lose your focus on the other people beside you, I think we as human should only remember one thing which is "we must always treat other people the way we wanted to be treated". Okay?

Done with that..err..did I stray too far from the supposed to be discussed subject?? I hope not.

Love you all.

XOXO

Crazy High Heels

Except for the sounds of "cluck..cluck...cluck" when I am walking down the hallway, I really do love wearing heels. It isn't always comfortable but I love it anyway because I feel great wearing it.

Oh ya..the reason why I posted those pictures above is to announce to you that finally..finally..I can drive my car using that crazy heels. *clap hands.... ekkekekek

Good shoes they said will bring you a long way in life. In fact, it is always been emphasized that if you want to see a successful man, you might as well look at his shoes. And if you want to know a woman with good taste then you need to see the kind of heels she is wearing. But I am not the one to judge. However I do love looking at women especially those who knows how to look good in footwear and knows how to take care of their legs (foot, nails). It really shows some character in there.

Truthfully, I am new to this kind of thing. Firstly because It was never my priority to look pretty in shoes but also secondly I didn't have the eye for fashion when it comes to footwear.  I just pick whatever I think suits me. How well it goes with my clothes is another story. I have to admit I still couldn't tell what type of footwear from one to another but does it really matter? Maybe not.. The most important thing is??? What is it...I have not come up to a certain conclusion just yet..because I am still learning and still experimenting. 

For the time being..what matter most to me is to feel wonderful wearing what I am wearing. Hopefully one of these days, those crazy heels won't cause me to break an ankle or two..ekekekek. By the way I did post about those pumps that I bought because it was much more comfortable to wear, right?? I still have the same idea..but yeah...it goes with a different taste from day to day. Right?

Of course I am planning to stick with the one that don't cause my leg to suffer in the long term. It just that.."girl just wanna have fun" and be a lil like Victoria Beckham for a while...ehemmm

alrite..enough about shoes now. Off to do real work.. now where did I left of last night..ummm

To Blend In

I have decided to be 100% "myself". It is because I realized there is no use trying to change color just for the purpose of blending in. I have to admit that in the beginning of my career I changed my styles a lot to suit the work environment. It includes what clothes to wear and how I do my hair. However after a few years of working, I understood about one thing. I understood that although my clothes don't necessarily describe who I am as a person, it does reflect how I want people to view me. You get it? ekekekek.

Now, I want to feel relaxed and I no longer want to draw a line between being me at home and me at work. I would like to be myself the way that I really am everywhere I go. I want to be comfortable being me whatever I am doing. The reason why I stated that is because I used to feel very insecure about being the real me in a working environment that requires people to be in a certain standard. But then again, maybe it was my wrong assumption that lead me to that thinking. Perhaps also I was looking for someone I could follow in terms of styling but found none. Everyone is indeed very unique and to "blend" in is good but hard to do if somehow you can't find your own identity in it. It is like wearing someone else clothes when you are prettier wearing your own clothes. Unless of course you haven't found what truly suits you.

The real issue here is "blending in". As a teenager we try to look cool by blending in with the popular kids and do stuff we don't necessarily agree with. It still happens in the work place especially for women. They try to wear clothes or wear make up approved by their peers to blend in with them and as a way to not completely look like a black sheep in a herd of white sheep. 

I like myself as I am now and I think as long as I don't break any rules or do anything that will cause me to face prosecution or something, I am free to express myself however I like through wearing clothes that I think are suitable for me. By the way I really don't mean wearing sexy clothes at work, I only mean wearing clothes that I really do like without being influenced to wear clothes like the other people simply because I want to be accepted by them and because I do not want to look like a completely odd person among them. 

Wow..what a long story about "blending in"..:) hehehe..

Well..I guess I am loving myself much more these days that I don't mind people seeing me completely different. 

Okay. What should I wear tomorrow ya???..hmm..peplum again? ahh..I think that bright orange peplum really sets my mood. kekeke. Off to iron clothes now..*singing  huhuhuhu

XOXO

I am Proud Of Myself..

If you have worked hard on something whatever the outcome is, isn't it the only right thing for you to do is to be happy with yourself? Of course that thing is maybe something very easy for someone else but it is something very difficult for you given the circumstances that you are in and the fact that you don't have any guidance (from certain somebody) but to rely on your own capacity and resourcefulness.

I was both happy and sad today. I was happy because I did everything I can within my ability to come up with my presentation enough with all the evidences to support my cases. But I was disappointed with how a certain somebody put a blame on me of not "making things possible". I was so angry I nearly flipped the table. :) ( Could you believe that?). I realized I had a streak of anger that is totally scary when somebody toyed with my patience (Not enough to want to kill people though). I fought back this time simply by asking "Are you blaming me, then?" and I said "I am sorry I really didn't have the time to make sure everything is good". Fuh!!! Anger released...kekekekek

Right now, I feel sad actually T T. I feel so sad because I know I have given my all and still certain people wasn't satisfied and somehow still pushed me up against the wall. But I am not going to cry. :)

There is no reason to cry. It is okay. It means I am going to break another wall. This time it is the wall of "limit". I am going to break the wall simply because I am ANGRY. hehehehe. (My heart is pounding hard chinggus)

And this is my "Outstation diary for Day-2" this new year. :) It is indeed a very fruitful and productive year for me. For a starter, I actually had the courage to fight back a "little" this time and for someone as timid as me, fighting back is totally a rare case unless I am totally pissed off. Well that just described everyone else out there. Right? It means I am no different than any one of you out there.

So can we change the vibe to a happier tone now?.. :) Chinggus...I know I have done my best. So I am going to congratulate myself no matter what. 

You did well!! I did Well * tapping her shoulder!!  hihii

Love 

XOXO

Passionate In Everything

Your passion is who you are and what you live for every moment of your life. Is that true? If its true then it means bringing your work home and thinking about it night and day or every waking hour is not a problem at all. Right? If your job is your passion I see nothing wrong in doing your job during your personal time aka life after 5pm and on the week end.

How are you all chinggus? I am having so much of fun the past few days (weeks) that I was so totally exhausted basking from happiness of fully enjoying my life which made it hard for me to write down in this blog since I was fully occupied doing something else. But it doesn't mean I did not think of at least find the time to let you know about it. I just..don't have the "energy" and "time" most of the time. I was fully used. hahaha.

Back to my intention of writing today. I was watching "Instanbul Aku Datang" a few weeks ago and it left me with an impression specifically on blogging. Lisa Surihani (my fave actress) was playing a character I actually liked. The character was really adorable and I loved the way she put her mission on her blog and made it known to her blogger friends of how she planned and executed her every move. It was sincerely "odd but so odd it was good to look and to digest".

Because of her character in that movie, I find it amusing to want to be a little bit like her in telling you about every move (not all actually) of my life and be joyful and disappointed together with you here. Are you taking the journey with me? Have I gained your interest? Have I caused you to hate me because of how I viewed my life? Those kind of questions come to my mind. I wonder?..and perhaps will keep wondering..but of course it won't stop me from writing..since it is something that keeps me calm and liberated. :)

My passion these days isn't just writing but also doing my job. hehehe. I have fall in love with my job all over again after I decided to put away my dissatisfaction of my "tutttt"...I feel so happy after making a simple decision "to do my best in everything put in front of me". I decided that I am just going to be the best no matter what. There were moments of struggle of course but every time such things occurred I came back to my promise and recommit myself all over again.

Since I am enjoying my work so much and coupled with "forgiveness" to whoever breaks my heart at the moment, I am now fully giving my best and with that I have been doing more than just working from 7.30am to 5.00pm. I am living truly committed to my work or best described as becoming someone just like how Ma Hye Ri blossomed into a true prosecutor in Prosecutor Princess.

Now this is truly a big thing..since I am so comfortable with the idea of..bringing my job HOME..*clap hands.. :)

And I am happy. 

Fuh!!! I think from now on I am going to totally merge my working time with my personal time. I want to be fully living my passion all year round, every second of the day. I will finish my task at every moment possible where ever I am. and...It's not going to be a burden..because..I LOVE MY WORK.

hahaha..

I love living this life. I hope you are too.

Love

XOXO

Guilty Pleasure

I am sipping a hot jasmine tea right now. :)

It reminds me of "Thailand". In year 2006 the company I worked at, sent me to attend a conference in Thailand. One of the itinerary of my short visit there was to go to a Zoo. The memory is kind of fuzzy now, but I remember well sipping a hot Jasmine tea at one of the cafeteria. The aroma was so soothing I couldn't forget it. :) Not that it has something to do with what I want to share today. It just that, this jasmine tea really relaxed my mind so I can easily put words together to show you how I feel. These days what I really want to do is just to write something wonderful or insightful when I am feeling very much relaxed. At least, I can rub off some good feelings to you. Do you feel it?? :P

By the way, the reason why I write this article today is to break you a very important news. haha. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about my new year's goal which is to "not shop for clothes" this one whole year. Well..unfortunately I have break it. hmmm..

Let me tell you why. ehemm..Consider this as a great excuse ya??,,:P

Tomorrow my husband is coming and I have not seen him since last christmas so I am expecting him to come with much excitement and happiness. Like any woman who are in love or wanted to show her best, I feel the need and I mean..I always wanted to look my best when I first greet him when he arrives. So I did a lot of things. I clean the room, I stock up the fridge and ..I scan through my closet to find the right clothes to wear. hehe..It sounds like I am going for my first date isn't it? Well..I still feel like that now.

It happens that, I really couldn't find anything that I wanted to wear to "please" him. heheh..So today I went out not actually having the thought of shopping in mind because I still for a minute wanted to keep my promise. However, I passed a clothing store and there was a display of a very modern casual style of top that really caught my attention. I fell in love with that top. But I tried not to be shaken at that moment. Instead, I diverted my attention to the bookstore because at the same time I am missing Haruki Murakami books and in need of his kind of craft to fill up my empty reading session. Anyway, as I reached the bookstore I flipped every book possible  but nothing captured my attention...still I didn't give up easily so I lingered there for almost an hour. But still I couldn't find one that really took my breath away. Haruki Murakami books were there of course  but I really didn't feel like reading the one that was still on the shelf. In the end I walked out without purchasing anything.

And then, I passed that clothing store again and whew..I thought of just window shopping and right there my mind was whirling with the thought that "Oh..this is so nice, my husband will love me in this"...hahaha.. To cut the story short, I ended up buying not one but three tops. Now that's too bad..ya?? kekekek

So I have to apologize for my hasty decision to share with you my ultimate goal this year. I have not done so well. Let just hope that the next few months will be a better time for me to keep myself in control of my desire to buy clothes. If you think kindly about it, you can just say every bad habits need time to be totally curbed. Right?

Right there.

Happy Chinese New Year chinggus.

XOXO

K-Drama and All the Little Things

Now I am talking about K-drama here not because the local dramas are not good. It is because I don't have a tv at home (said it many times) and I have decided not to have one because of my rather hectic life that I can only choose to enjoy watching drama via online when the time suits me best. Hehe..this is just an introduction to explain the reason why the title above is as such. K?

Everyone pretty much agree that Korean wave is hitting all over the world. Thanks to internet. It is no different here. Actually, to be really honest I am fond of embracing this new culture because being Asean, I concur to their asean values. As much as I like all the Hollywood movies and dramas, it always struck me as being totally alien. It never hits home. Their values are totally different. Don't you think so? Of course I don't mean that I hate them, I only mean to say that I need something much more similiar to my own culture so I can totally relate to it on varying level. Right? 

I have narrated in here how I started to like K-drama. I think it has not been long. I remember watching my first k-drama crack which was "Winter Sonata" and that was like eons ago. It followed by "Autumn in My Heart" and that's it. I didn't stay tune to Korean drama anymore. However my keenness for K-drama returned two years back when "My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho" starring Shin Min Ah and Lee Seung Gi was aired. I was attracted to the very gorgeous actress and very charming actor. That was when I started to really follow the up and coming k-drama on the net. By the way up until then, the only reason I watched Korean drama was mainly for the story until I came across the charming, charismatic Moon Geun Young which I never thought for a second as pretty but yeah..she turned my world upside down when I watched her performance in Mary Stayed Out All Night. I became a total fan and started to watch each and every single one of her movies and dramas. I couldn't blame those fans who defend her on Cheongdamdong Alice (I am one of them..kkekekeke). She literally made me into a craving k-drama addict and all I wanted was a good quality drama which starred by actors not less than her credibility. But alas, a certain blog changed my whole point of view of how to totally appreciate a drama from the acting, directing to scriptwriting wise. It opened up a whole new world for me. I think I have said enough about the beginning of my k-drama addiction.

Let us move on to the little things I learned in K-drama. I learned a lot from watching K-drama and it really did influence me one way or another. It did not only make me into a total fan of Moon Geun Young but also, one way or another with every scene that I watched, I was observant about the culture, the interior design, the make up, the hair style, the fashion, the food and you know..gadgets. I actually bought a samsung mobile phone after watching Mary Stayed Out All Night. Can you believe that? Korean is so good at marketing, don't you think so??

Moon Geun Young as Ryu Min in Love Me Not. She was amazing in here. :)

In a good way, it also taught me how to get in touch with my feminine side especially on the area of fashion. I have to admit, after I graduated I was kind of lost. I didn't know how best to dress up suitable for my age. Thankfully K-drama introduced me to the kind of fashion icon like Yoon Eun Hye and the like that made it possible for me to transition my fashion sense to better suit my age. Thank goodness. :) *clap hands***

I also like how the make up artist was doing with the korean actresses appearances. It was always very much "pure" or nude style that don't need much dramatic make up which I think would suit me best. I have always disliked the "too much" make up that can't be practical in real life unless you are filming. Taking a cue from there, I started to love make up and learned how to apply make up, light enough to just "enhance" my charms without people having to look at me twice because of a heavy stage style make up. hehehe. It really helps with my self-image.

But most of all, because I watched K-drama I started to interact more with fellow k-drama addicts via forums and it really helped me to open up myself a little bit to the world and less like "Go Dok Mi" (its a character in Flower Boy Next Door). It means a lot to me. The mere thought of having a like minded people hovering the net made me feel like I am REAL and not just me. (If you understand what that means..I am confused myself..hahaha)

In short, k-drama did the little things which no one else out there could be able to do for me knowing that I am living in a rather "closed up" world. 

It is a blessing isn't it? ^ ^

I am Not A Victim

I am not a victim. A victim is someone who is unable to do anything for herself or someone who is trapped in a prison of "self" or others.

I was thinking about this word "victim" while I was having a heart to heart conversation with a friend of mine. We were sharing about all the difficulties we were facing in our jobs. As I was listening to her words, I understood that she was as jaded as I was and like me had found difficulty in trusting others. I saw a glimpse of myself in her. She made me realize that I really do not want to be that "jaded" any longer and I wanted her to feel that way too. I want her to believe that life is not that cruel. 

However,  in order for me to make her feel that way I have to examine my own heart and look for the right answer to fill her up. So I have to go back to all the events in my life and asked her the same things about her life. There must be a missing point in there. I asked " Do you have any regret in your life?" "Are you going to do the same thing if you are given a second chance?"The answer is. "There is no regret". "My surrounding have influenced me to make this type of decision and I never see any other way to look at things differently". So those were the limitations. You can also call that "FATE".

The thing is no matter what other way you want to understand your life from then till now, the point of it is just one, it is to fulfill your calling in this world. No?? So then why at one point in your life you feel you are nothing or feel victimized. This word "victim" really can break you as a person. 

Feeling victimized is a feeling that really breaks you if you really put it that way. It can really make you feel so unimportant and useless that you would lose your sense of pride. Once you lose your pride, you will lose your self-esteem and when you lose your self-esteem you will not be able to live true to your potential.

I think about all those things. I think about how demeaning feeling victimized can be to a person. So I make a decision to not feel that way. It's a choice.

I admit that somehow living in this world means you are bound to rub off with a certain kind of people who always want you to bow down to them. It's okay. I can play as a servant, wholeheartedly. really. seriously. But it doesn't mean that I will forget my own dreams. While bowing to others, I will still reach for my ultimate dreams. Those dreams are what planted in my heart. It's a choice. I can complain and disobey or I can obey and still look for something to be victorious on my own pursuit.

I admit that once in a while I go "crazy" but I don't just file it that way. I find ways to cope with it although somehow it might come across as a little "nuts" like..taking a deep breath, checking my reflection in front of the mirror, quietly smiling and put on a nice red lipstick to feel wonderful and gorgeous before stepping in inside "the" room to wait for the "order".

You see I am not that strong of a person that I can be prideful to say that I am strong. I am weak. However, because I am weak I understand my need to have God in my life and the wisdom to understand that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens Me."

I can overcome difficult situations now, because I have fully understood the meaning of relying on God. It is in EVERYTHING. Every little steps of the way.

Thank You Lord.

I am blessed indeed.