Living at the moment

I am writing a piece not because it is work related even though it is office hour but because I am moved to write at the moment. I know it is probably unethical but sometimes I just want to rebel a little bit by doing something that I want to do rather than doing something I have to do. 

“ When you are busy doing something you have to do, eventually you will forget what you want to do”

I am watching Scent of a Woman played by kim Su Nah. I adored her in City Hall and in My Name Is Kim Sam Soon. Both dramas had been proven to raise her up as an excellent actress. However, in my opinion she didn’t do much in this new drama. She was middling at best. I wasn’t sympathetic towards her and I found her character unappealing. I hated her over the top acting. Moving away from her,  thankfully Seo hyorim played her part well as an arrogant heir. I even fell in love with her elegant style and her carefully curled front part of hair. I am now in episode 8 and I am positive from here onwards nothing much would change.

How do you feel about saving money while living frugally or poorly?

When it comes to long term goal of saving money for retirement and other big purchase in the future I think it is given that saving money is a must. How if your days are numbered? You would have forgotten about long term goal and focus on what will make you happy now. Isn’t? That was the essence of the story in Scent of A Woman which I think is a very interesting question we all can ask ourselves.

Lee Yeon Jae in the story made her  bucket of list of what she wanted to do before she died. She only had 6 months more to live due to gallbladder cancer. It was spreading very fast and she didn’t expect herself to live long. Therefore, she wrote all the things she wanted to accomplish within the period she might still alive.

This story reminds me of another story I read. Veronica was a character I found most intriguing in Veronica Decides To Die written by Paulo Coelho. She was a young woman in her 20s but already decided to end her life by taking overdose of sleeping pill. Her reason was she couldn’t live a predictable routine life. She survived the attempt but admitted to a mental hospital. However in this story the doctor in charge tricked her into believing that she would eventually died because of heart failure due to the side effect of the sleeping pill she took. The doctor gave her the kind of medicine that stops her heart for a while. Veronica indeed got a deeper outlook of her life that she decided to live to the fullest. She even managed to influence those people around her to live fully. In the end the doctor proved his theory that man would incessantly try to live to the fullest when they realize they are really going to die soon. Thus, cure the problem of suicidal thought.

Lee Yeon Jae and Veronica perhaps faced the same problem albeit for a different reason.  Both tried to live fully only after knowing their predicament.  My question is; If you live at the moment, do you neglect being frugal and spontaneously spend all your money to your heart desire?

It is true that we are probably not a cancer patient but we too do not know when our final day would be. Our days are numbered too. Our final day can be today or it can be tomorrow. Who knows?

Having that in mind what would you want to do if you know exactly the time you are going to die? Will you prepare your bucket’s list? Will you start eating what you want to eat, buy what you want to buy without hesitation, learn the thing you always wanted, love more, smile more, forgive more and live more?

I wanted a lot of things. But I could never do all of it if I am a full time employee. I can’t have time to have a home in a vast land to cultivate and plant vegetables, fruits and flowers I wanted. I can’t have time to wake up early in the morning to watch the sunrise and play with the pets at home. I can’t go to places I thought of visiting. I can’t embark on other areas I found interesting. I can’t rest and give my full energy on the things I wish to indulge at the moment. Those are the things I long for if only there is no constraint.

Human basically have very simple needs. They just want to do what they want to do and not what people expect them to do or what they have to do to survive. I am as simple as that or maybe I am more complicated than simple since I have a hard time to differentiate between what I need and what I want. Aren’t we all like that? Are you?