Listen

I wanted to go out again today so I put on my favourite light pink top, braided my hair and added on a cute shiny pink hair clip. It looked nice. *Blushing* I even went as far as putting on a light green eye shadows and a light pink lipstick on. I rarely put on makeup and on the occasion I did so it was because my hubby was around and I did not want him to feel unhappy with my nude appearance. ^_^. I did make an effort a few times to look better every now and then but I failed to keep up with the momentum. I hated the fact that whatever it is, at the end of the day I still need to use my glasses on which always managed to hide my beautiful pair of deep set eyes and my deep gleaming dark eyes. Teee hee heee (what a description). Just Kidding! But Yes.., I am upset. Because with glasses on I really looked like a nerd (which somehow I am kind of..errr..???) The thing is I feel better looking like a sweet girl that I am :p)

So Sadly, I still have to use my glasses on (because my work don’t allow me to wear lens, and I can’t afford lasix treatment) and play along looking like a tough(scared) young lady. ^_^

Since I am so attuned to this makeup topic, just forget a little while about the going of this morning and let me just elaborate more on my longing for “perfect self-image”. When I talk about self-image and confidence, I have one particular lady clearly etched in my mind and she is none other than “Rebecca”, the young lady who was one of the apprentices in Donald Trump Show. She is in every angle the kind of woman that I wish to emulate; bright, beautiful, matured, strong with amazing personality. Just looking at how she carried herself in the show was enough to make me idolize her personality. I want to be her just like her.

Right now, I am caught between trying to show the professional side of me who needs to look tough, smart and crazy and the person inside me who is still confuse because she feels she can’t be tough in certain situation. But forget about that. Just say, because my husband loves me for being sweet. I look sweet?? Too cute he said that sometimes it would be difficult for people to take me seriously. So I can’t decide how to portray myself; that’s the problem. The problem is what am I? How should I carry myself the right way and; don’t even get me started on my physical appearance. In particular, I am not sure if I should say I love it or hate it. I just don’t like my skin. So there you go; I would never be satisfied with anything, am I? I think I have a conflict of personality here; don’t know how to become more me. Right? Yes, I need to learn more. I should. True??

Anyway, about this morning; when I went to check on the laundry because I was thinking of doing my laundry I noticed my sister in law had not hang her washing so I helped her up and did mine the second. Just then, the fine weather turned bad. It started to get cloudy and I felt bad leaving home for afraid of rain coming down soon.

I then ended up watching the 11th episode of “Lucifer” while soaking my feet on lukewarm water. The best thing was, finally after neglecting my feet for months, I had reasons to do pedicure and I was so happy with that. I really do hate unmanaged nails. It looks ugly no matter what kind of shoes/sandals you put on. So having the time to do pedicure is terrific. ^_^ *happy!

While still in happy bubble having finished painting my nail with light peach color, I went to the kitchen for a quick afternoon snack. Right then, my sister – in – law came home. She noticed her washing hanging on the hanging clothes rail and was pleased that I helped a little. .(the evidence that a little kindness means a lot to some). .that she offered me to eat the “kueh” she bought. We sat down and had a talk. I let her talk because I just read in “The Magic of Thinking Big” that letting other people talk is more important than talking about yourself. It proved the author of the book was right. I just let her speak and try my best to understand her more. I knew she was having a lot of problems so I was actually glad to let her talk about it.

In fact I chose to listen more to people talk nowadays because I can always choose to write down my own qualms if I need to talk about it. I still have my fill isn’t?

In short,I did have a great day. I did something to make me and other people better.

I feel, I am getting better each day and for that, I must thank the Lord for the opportunity He has given to me to make a difference at each of my waking moment.

I am blessed indeed.