Enjoying my job

There was no greater day than the day when you are productive. I could spend my time in a million ways but the best time well spent was when it was spent wisely. Today was such a day for me.

My whole day started by going for a blood sampling. A team from my lab and others cooperated in blood sampling of a group of about a thousand newly imported goats namely Boer cross. I have not been going out to the field for sometime and I have been waiting for such a day as today to at least, do the sweaty job. I love getting up "close and personal" with the animals. It gives me immense pleasure to be around them. ^-^

Our morning was disrupted with a little surprise visit from a big brown patterned butterfly. It perched on a shirt of one of the sweet beautiful girl. I was actually amazed oh how smart it picked a beautiful girl to perch on. It must be the sweet smell of her. *genius*.^_^,

After taking a few pictures of it, we released it back to the wild, letting it fly away and find it way to the world once again. Hopefully, this time it will manage to perch on real flowers and start on pollinating again. That's what butterflies do right? To make more beautiful flowers..^_^

Unfortunately I did not take my breakfast and of course I did not plan not to eat but it did make me a little bit dizzy and hungry. As a consequences,I kept on disturbing the officer in charge to quicken the coming of food ration.I hope he was not pissed off. I couldn't help it.It was almost midday and everyone was either starving or dehydrated from much used energy on goats handling and blood sampling. The guys although didn't complain, two of them decided to just drove off and bought a supply of drink for our team and honestly it made me feel at my worst.

At this point of time, I am always reminded by how incapable I am at certain things like providing and giving appropriate orders. And, no matter how much I try to put something on my head like "go on, be a lioness". I just couldn't do it. It was hard. I wonder what will become of me in the future if...?? :(..it spells like *l*****..
It nearly ruined my day. But, a weakness should not weigh us down right?..^_^

Needless to say, at the end of the activity I smelt like goats. ^_^ It ended well of course. Even though Our team lagged behind but other team pitched in and gave full cooperation to complete the whole thing.

By the time I arrived at the office, nothing much I can do about the smell. The coverall upon removal, still left my body as smelly as it was before stripping it off. ^_^. But, I still continue on with further discussion on Lab safety with a few colleagues in the lab. We have this goal to prepare a proper documentation on lab safety and hopefully, we will be able to wrap up everything nicely before presenting it to our big boss. ^_^

Done with the discussion, I worked my wits on plates reading. It took me exactly 30 minutes to read all of the microbiological plates and thus, ended my 8 hours job for the day.

That's how my working day went by for the day. The difference between today and some other less-productive day was, it was filled with job related activities other than delegating/finalizing cases and going for a meeting. Somehow, I liked it that way.

One of my friend used to say that "There is no other pleasure that can match a successful project handled by yourself. It gives you enormous satisfaction". That was her take which right then perplexed me but on her level, perhaps that was the meaning of satisfaction.

To me, satisfaction come quite as easy as a day goes by with full activities.

Middle of september: How I love thee

I went to visit my hubby in the middle of September, just when another historical day was marked when Malaysia Day was celebrated by the whole state of west and east Malaysia. As some of you may have come to know, currently we are in a long distance marriage. ^_^ It is hard. I won't lie about that fact. The negative side is, when we need a cuddle and an intimate conversation with our soul mate, they are not right there to give us the loving that we needed.

Nonetheless, I am a happily married woman and if anyone is going to dispute with me on how unreasonable it is to be away and still keep everything intact, I won't argue with you. It might not work with everyone.The reason why it works with us is because we have struggled long enough to survive the peaks and the valleys. So, why not? ^_^

By the way, my entry for the day is not about how to survive a long distance marriage (it might touch a bit tho"). This entry is about my recent visit to my husband homeland.

I have been having a difficult time to meet and to adapt with my new big family. My PR skill is out,and so far I don't think I have fared well. Honestly, I am still very much clueless on how to become a better half of my husband. I am trying hard tho" ^_^. I guess it is just part of the challenge of becoming a new member of a family.

My last visit was again my another attempt to be closer to them. Technically I survived the ordeal but I am not quite there yet. Hmmm..^_^. My mother tried to throw me some pointers but fuh...!!, Why does it feel like a "chore". ?? ;P. It must be my introverted personality traits?

To add to that issue, my lacrimal glands functioned quite abnormally or was it my hormone shooting up that that I got tears flowing like a river for no apparent reason at all? At first it flowed because my husband was called up to work on emergency term when it has been agreed upon that we are going to spend quality time together on our own. And then again it flowed because of some menial task I was being asked to do which I was not willing to do.*shaking head*

I felt pity for my husband who was trying to work hard and to entertain the wife at the same time. I know he could not do both but the thought of letting him work and leaving me spending time on my own after planning for quite a long time to be together with him was so unbearable.

Still the minute we were together, I forgot all my selfish desire to have him to myself. I guess that was the real reason why I love this man.

When we attended the wedding reception of his cousin, I could not help but staring at my own husband. It was hard to describe why I could not take my eyes off him. The same man I have dated for ten years before tying the knot. He still kept me strongly captive with his charms on me. Now, how romantic/silly that sounds? ^_^

To cut it short, my visit was still one of my best moments. Likewise even though I am facing a lot of troubles in pursuing this relationship earlier on and now that we are married, I still believe when love struck you, you become the servant of it for the rest of your life.

In conclusion, no time is a bad time when you have the one close to your heart. Regardless of the peaks and the valleys and what people said, it is you who knows the content of your own heart. What makes you leap in joy and bow down with sorrow, is your own business.

To Hell and Back by Rob Morgan

Dr.Maurice Rawlings, M.D., cardiologist and professor of medicine at the University of Tennessee College of Medicine in Chattanooga, was a devout atheist who considered all religion "hocus-pocus." To him, death was nothing more than a painless extinction.

But in 1977, Rawlings was resusicating a man who came back from the edge of death. The man was terrified and screaming. Rawling wrote: Each time he regained hearbeat and respiration, the patient screamed, "I am in hell!" He was terrified and pleaded with me to help him. I was scared to death...Then I noticed a genuinely alarmed look on his face. He had a terrified look worse than the expression seen in death! This patient had a grotesque grimace expressing sheer horror! His pupils were dilated, and he was preparing and trembling-he looked as if his hair was on end.

Dr.Rawlings shaken became intrigued with near death experience, and as he researched the subject, doing much of his study first-hand, he discovered something that has been omitted by much of the prevailing literature. There are many stories of near-death experiences in which people report moving down a peaceful tunnel toward a gentle light, but Dr. Rawlings' research, which later appeared in Omni Magazine, demonstrated that about fifty percent near-death victims report seeing lake of fire, devil-like figures and other sights reflecting the darkness of hell.

"Just listening to these patients has changed my whole life," claims Dr.Rawlings. "There is a life after death, and if I don't know where I'm going, it's not safe to die."

Through these experiences, Dr.Rawlings began studying what the Bible had to say about hell and other subjects and he became a Christians.

The realities of heaven and hell are closer than we think, and the Bible minces no words. "prepare to meet your God" (Amos 4:12). But Jesus - God made flesh-died and rose from the grave to rob death of its sting and to deny hell its victims. "This," he said in John 17:3, "is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

*************

Yup..heaven and hell exist. ^_^, I really wanna go to a better place when I die. What is all about the hard work I put here on earth if its amount to nothing when I die?.

The art of Forgiving Yourself by Rob Morgan

In his book, Healing for damaged emotions, David Seamands writes about a young minister who once came to see him. He was having a lot of problems getting along with other people, especially his wife and family.

Seamands recalls: "I had already talked privately with his wife; she was a fine person-attractive, warm, affectionate, loving - and totally supported him in his ministry. But he was continually criticizing her, scapegoating her. Everything she did was wrong. He was sarcastic and demanding, and withdrew from her advances, rejecting her love and affection. Slowly but surely it began to dawn on him: he was destroying their marriage.

"Then he realized that in his weekend pastorate he was hurting people through sermons which were excessively harsh and judgemental...

"Finally, in his desperation, he came to see me. At the beginning of our interview, he met trouble like real man: he blamed it on his wife! But after a while, when he became honest, the painful root of the matter came to light."

The young minister finally admitted that while serving in the armed forces in Korea, he had spent two weeks of rest and relaxation in Japan. During that leave, walking the streets of Tokyo, feeling empty, lonely, and terribly homesick, he fell into temptation and went three or four times to a prostitute.

He had never been able to forgive himself. He had sought God's forgiveness and, with his head, believed he had it. But the guilt plagued him and he hated himself. Every time he looked in the mirror, he couldn't stand what he was seeing. He had never shared this with anyone, and the burden was becoming intolerable.

When he returned home to marry his fiancee, who had faithfully waited for him all those years, his emotional conflicts increased because he still could not accept complete forgiveness. He couldn't forgive himself and to her; so he couldn't accept her freely offered affection and love. He felt he had no right to be happy, his emotions, and his relationships with other people.

"How beautiful it was to see him receive full, free forgiveness from God," Seamands wrote, "then from his wife, and perhaps best of all, from himself,"

********
Very often we feel we don't deserve the love and affection of others because of our past. Its the guilty feeling that robbed us of our joy in loving others unconditionally.

We should learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we did. It was a "past". Nobody is perfect. :)

Home Sweet Home (II)

The months of August and September are holiday seasons and is a family time. Thanks to Merdeka Day and Hari Raya Celebration. This second consecutive holiday, I managed to bring home a new set of curtains for the house. As I mentioned before, it was a challenge to look for the best color for the curtains considering the different paint colors of the wall. Nevertheless, I did find the color that I liked. But my father quipped why I bought the curtains in different colors. ^_^. My mom just laughed and said “You know, she is trying to match it with the paint colors”. I have not heard her laughed out that loud in a long time. She must be very amused although she did not quite agree with the length of the curtains. My father being nonchalant did not say a word. I guess he did love the curtains colors. ^_^ *Arrr.. I must give credit to my office mate for telling me which store to go and allowing me to go out early to beat the traffic jam. It is much appreciated.*

My husband came along this time so it was a double happiness to me. Having him there made me more concerned about preparing the meal and being the good wife. ^_^. I don’t do a lot of house chores when I was on holiday, always sit around and let mom handle it. Bad daughter ya.. ^_^. But, this time, I tried to be less selfish and less lazy. I tried to prepare a full set of meal for the whole family while setting aside a menu according to his taste. I figured his taste buds must have not fully ready yet for my side of family regular whole set of meal. Fortunately, looking at how they all gobbled up the food, I must have succeeded my goal. ^_^. That’s to me a mission accomplished. (My father did not complain..he is my best critic)

All of my brothers except my third brother were present this time. Even my forth brother went back all the way from KL and he brought back an external hard disk which he sold to me for a mere RM80 when the actual price was RM189. That was a blessing. ^_^. It made me wants to say “ It is good to have brothers”. The more you have the more blessings you get. Not to mention the movies that was already uploaded in the HDD. It was a perfect “gift”. What more can I ask?..^_^

We did have fun gathering up to share shocking stories like *how so and so get drunk, involved in a car accident which cost his leg. It was amputated from the ankle down and now he finds it hard to find a job * A story to learn from and; just laughed at a few fun one like *how so and so divorced her husband to be with her ex-bf whom reputed to have RM5k salary but apparently conned her. She regretted and now wanted to go back to her husband* A tragic story actually but the laughable part was when my bro said “ she should have realized that, if a man did have RM5k salary, he must be a married man” ^_^.

As I watched the kids, I mean my nephews I worried and I got angry at times but I grew up with boys so it was not that hard to handle the kind of emotional ride I was in. I only need to be a little short-tempered *kidding* and knew how to make a few quick point blank remarks which sometimes must be a little “wise”. But then, actually what was actually playing on my mind during those times were whether or not they were enjoying their time. *were they?* I felt I had a luckier childhood when it comes to adventure and playing all sorts of games compared to them. And then again, maybe we were being too concerned about their safety that we did not allow them to be kids and play all day long the way they wanted to. Maybe we should give them more room to explore things themselves and let them have all the fun, getting hurt and all. I don’t know. ^_^ I guess I’ll get more into that when I have my own kids. It is going to be a tough decision to make. Who knows ^_^

In short, my holiday ended well. Few moments that I treasured included not only what I said above but little things like; My precious time with hubby surveying my father’s oil palm which he said can be a “model farm” and the dream we shared while walking hand in hand along the thorny roads ; My hubby act of kindness to wash and clean the car which I really appreciated and; My mom help with the meal preparation aka frying the chicken wings while I cooked the rest of the meal which also means a lot to me because frying needs a lot of patience which tend to run out very fast when you are hungry. ( I just sort of revealed to you how lazy I can be ya..^_^)

Again, What would I be without the love and the care of my family. Thank you Lord for this blessing.

I am blessed indeed.

^_^

Walking by Rob Morgan

In her biography of Marie Antoinette, Carolly Erickson tells about the queen's attempts to disguise herself and attend parties, dances, and balls incognito, but her walk gave her away. "When she walked, she strode like a man. Her swift, purposeful gait was her trademark. It was said that she could never successfully disguise her identity at masked balls, for no matter how she dressed, she still walked like an Empress."

F.W Boreham reminds us of a story from the life of Francis of Asisi. "Brother," Francis said one day to one of the young monks at the Portiuncula, "Let us go down to the town and preach!"

The novice, delighted at being singled out to be the companion of Francis, obeyed with alacrity. They passed through the principal streets; turned down many of the by-ways and alleys; made their way out to some of the suburbs and at length returned, by a circuitous route, to the monastery gate. As they approached it, the younger men reminded Francis of his original intention.

"You have forgotten, Father, that we went down to the town to preach!"
"My son," Francis replied, "We have preached. We were preaching while we were walking. We have been seen by many; our behaviour has been closely watched; it was thus that we preached our morning sermon. It is of no use, my son, to walk anywhere to preach unless we preach everywhere we
walk."

*********
Ever had an experience of being asked out to preach outside? ^_^ I am blessed by this story. Its remarkable. It shows how you should walk the talk simply by "walking" the talk. ^_^

The room by joshua Harris

In that room between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files.

They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file names "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird: "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." "Things I Have Done in Anger," "Things I Have Muttered under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them! In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel with." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of his room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No please, not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands, and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

***********
I have heard this testimonial a long time ago but reading it from the author who actually experienced it is another thing. It makes you feel closer to the scene. Of course, it makes you reflect on your own life. What could have been recorded that even us have totally forgotten about and how wonderful it is to be reminded that we are saved by His grace.

As Joshua Harris put it, "We each have a "room" containing all our sinful deeds and thoughts. But just because we admit this or feel bad about it doesn't mean we're forgiven. Remorse can't save anyone. Only faith in Christ. Only trust in His death and resurrection for us.

The power of a Courteous husband by Rob Morgan

Jay Kesler was once working at a Youth For Christ Camp in Ohio when a young woman approached him. They sat down in the front row of the chapel, and through many tears she told him her heartbreaking story. She had been molested by her own father about three times a week since she was four years old. She'd never told anyone about this, but had carried a great sense of secret shame. As they talked, Kesler noticed that both her wrists were scarred, and she admitted that she had tried to kill herself.

"Why didn't you do it?" Jay asked.

"Well," She replied, "I got to thinking...we have a youth pastor at our church.."

At that point in conversation, Kesler groaned within himself, thinking he was going to hear an ugly story about her getting involved with some youth pastor. But that wasn't it at all. She said, "He'd just gotten married before he came to our church, and I've been watching him. When he's standing in line in church behind his wife, he squeezes her right in church. They look at each other, and they hug each other right in church. One day I was standing in the pastor's study, looking out the window, and the youth pastor walked his wife out into the parking lot. Now there was only one car in the parking lot; nobody was around; nobody was looking. And that guy walked all the way around the car and opened the door and let her in..."

Kesler thought to himself, "This is a nice story, but what's the point?"

But she continued: "Well, I just got to thinking that all men must not be like my dad, huh?"

"You're right," said Jay. "All men are not like your father."

"Jay, do you suppose our youth pastor's a Christian?"

"Yes, I think he probably is."

"Well, that's why I came tonight. I want to be a Christian too."

***********************

It's a lovely story isn't it? ^_^, It's nice to know how a simple act of love can change someone's life forever. Must bear that in mind. Must be careful with our ways of treating our spouse. Let it be a blessing to others.

No Other Way by Rob Morgan

Civil war erupted in the Congo (Zaire) in the 1960s, and among the missionaries caught in the crossfire was a small sunbeam named William McChesney with Worldwide Evangelization Crusade (now WEC International). Though only five-foot-two, one hundred and ten pounds, Bill had an outsized personality that radiated cheer wherever he went. His co-workers dubbed him "Smiling Bill."

On November 14, 1964, suffering from Malaria, Bill, twenty-eight, was seized by Congolese rebels. Despite ill treatment, violent sickness, and constant threats of death, his cheerful attitude didn't abandon him during captivity. A catholic Nun who saw him during that time said, "That man has the face of an angel." Others said he seemed "utterly other-worldly." He sought every opportunity to witness to his captors.

Shortly afterward he was beaten mercilessly, his clothing ripped off, and he was thrown into a filthy, crowded cell which he shared with British missionary Jim Rodger. Catholic priests gave him their garments, for he was shaking violently from malarial fever.

The next day, November 25, Bill and Jim were dragged from their cell and forced to stand before a rebel colonel. At his command, the rebels fell on Jim and Bill with clubs and spears. Bill's death was almost instantaneous and Jim caught his body as it fell to the ground. The rebels then trampled Jim to death, and their bodies were thrown into the Wamba River.

Before leaving for Africa, Bill had written a poem explaining his desire for overseas missions.

I want my breakfast served at eight,
With ham and eggs upon the plate;
A well-broiled steak I'll eat at one,
And dine again when day is done.

I want an ultramodern home
And in each room a telephone;
Soft carpets too, upon the floors,
And pretty drapes to grace the doors.

A cozy place of lovely things,
Like easy chairs with inner springs,
And then I'll get a small TV-
Of course, "I'm careful what I see."

I want my wardrobe, too, to be
Of neatest, finest quality,
With latest style in suit and vest:
Why should not Christians have the best?

But then the Master I can hear
In no uncertain voice, so clear:
"I bid you come and follow Me,
The lowly Man of Galilee."

If he be God, and died for me,
No sacrifice too great can be
For me, a mortal man, to make;
I'll do it all for Jesus's sake.

Yes, I will tread the path He trod,
No other way to please my God;
So, henceforth, this my choice shall be,
My choice for all eternity.

**********

I was moved by this story. It really gets me into thinking. What sacrificed have I made, and what comfort have I traded just for the sake of his name? Have I done anything at all? Have I?