I envy those people who seems to be born with "confidence".To me there is nothing more demeaning than having someone totally subdued you with their ultra confidence.They stride in pride, speak with clarity, and rise up to the occasion with no trouble at all. If only... ^_^
The reason why I speak of confidence is because of my own lacking in it. I feel lacking in a lot of things actually but one thing that is so much so robbed me of many opportunities is because of that.
The most horrible feeling you could have is when you look at yourself in front of the mirror and pity your own reflection. Just living with the thought that I let pass so many things because of fear really dismantled me and put me back in the box.It dwindled my self esteem to almost zero. What is so bad about it is the fact that.."I just couldn't do it"..:(
It leads me to a sole question of what life is all about. Is life about surviving or to look for that much sought after "vocation"?. Plenty of time I told myself probably the reason why I have no confidence in certain things is because its only a job and not my vocation. But then again,maybe it is just an excuse to make a quick exit.
Maybe I should summon up my courage and do what I need to do, beseeching Him to help me to do the things I cannot do.
I put my trust in You, my LORD.
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