Looking For That One Thing

I love blogging because it allows me to speak up my mind in a more detailed manner. I have stayed away from updating my status in FB and Twitter because it only allows a few lines of sentences to be published at one time. I disliked it. I need to elaborate my point of view the way I wanted it to be understood if I ever made a choice to make it public.

On a totally unrelated matter, I am actually thinking about..."passion" and "longing. One of the main reasons why I tried not to associate myself with the social network is because each time I encountered a person who had a very "distinct" hobby and passion, I was always overwhelmed by how much that person passionate about their hobby or passion. It made me feel left out as in "why am I not there yet?? Or Do I really have something that I like or passionate about which is totally unique to me??? Those kind of questions..bugs me.

I am not jealous..(a little maybe..*cough *cough), but I do not want to feel that I am ...uninteresting or that I am lacking so much, there is nothing truly unique about who I am as a person. Well..that's not totally true. Right?? But..who I am..and what I am proud about myself that lurking into the creativity of others left me ..empty and plain. :(

Hehehe..Anyway. I shouldn't be so hard on myself right? Every one is special in their own way. Sometime you don't see it but others do. Perhaps I should look at myself from other people points of view. I need to know me. I need to understand myself better and keep on looking for the right area to shine.

You agree with that chinggus??? :)

We have to. Lets keep on living to the fullest + challenge ourselves until we find that One thing.

Love 

XOXO

I Know You

It is easy to understand my nephews and nieces if they take after my sides of family (my brothers) because..when you are related, some part of you is there and it is evident and cannot be not understood.

When I became an adult, I realized I understood my mother better than when I was growing up. It was easier because I was able to see the glimpses of me in her or the glimpses of her in me. Not only in appearance but also our strengths and weaknesses. I concluded that in order for me to improve myself is by trying to understand her better and deciding exactly how I should  face things differently if I disagree with her ways of doing things. It's like assessing my other self making a move and decided to follow suit or change it to yield a different result. We do have differences but I think, more than differences, we bear much more similarities. 

Having blood relatives means having the same kind of blood and DNA running in the veins and because of that same genes, you cant deny your relationship. Even if you were born in a different part of the world, your genes will eventually shows who you really are. It's a pre-determined inborn characteristic. You have it in you and hence, there is no way to deny it. Right??..

You might wonder, why I posed such an opinion (to be considered). Well..it is because, sometime when we feel lonely, we always try to look for someone similar to us and often than not we found that similarities in our family..only. We gather together with our family because that is where we are most comfortable and place where we can share common things comfortably. There is no hiding true self, no acting, no pretending and certainly no agendas or whatsoever. What you see is what you get. However even in that similarities, we tend to isolate from our family and look for the opposite outside of our home. We think home is scary (because we know everything inside the family) and so we venture out looking for a safer place albeit living by ourselves. 

While looking for our identity not dictated by our family, it is good to venture out and not safely hiding, locking yourself in your family home. A good journey out in the world will make us understand the way of the world but soon when we are weary, we will soon realize that the safest place on earth is still where you were born and, the people who understand you the most and will always accept who you really are is your family.It doesn't even matter if that place will harm you and your whole family. You just want to stay rooted where you are and died with those you cared the most. 

...missing my family...

My Teeth Dream

I have been having teeth dreams the last two nights. In my life when it comes to teeth dreams it always indicate "a relationship"..if I pulled out a tooth effortlessly without pain, bleeding or oozing pus as a result of it, it means I cut out a relationship safely without causing hurt. However, I only knew about it that much without knowing well to whom that dream may implicate. I don't know who is going to involve or when it is going to happen.

Yesterday night, I dreamed four of my teeth were rotting and although I managed to pull out some part of the teeth, the roots were still there stained with dried blood.

Last night I dreamed, I pulled out two of my teeth. I didn't feel any pain and it was a clean pull. I wonder who are they that I am pulling out of my life.

Because of my last night dream, I am especially careful today. I know you might think that I am superstitious but I'd like to assert that I only come to this kind of conclusion about the meaning of each dream after witnessing it happening many times in my life following the same type of dreams prior to the unfolding events. Do you believe me??? :P. well...you don't have to of course. It just that..(trying to explain my point of view here), I think we can't really understand all things using logic. Some are messages coming in many forms like dreams that we need to decipher. Because that kind of things is unique to each of one us, we can't really ask for another person to make us understand it. It is like understanding your own individuality. Except God, the only one who knows who you really are, is you. You only need to choose between believing in it or not. Some people say, if we do not believe in something, we will fall for anything. So, I choose to believe in myself and the truth that I found unique to myself. 

So there you go...I wonder...but not anticipating..I can' be anxious of the things destined to happen. Right?? Should I??

Have a wonderful week end..chinggus. I am having a fun day here..:)

Love you all

XOXO

My Thoughts on Mary Stayed Out All Night

I was finally able to watch and finish the episode 16 of Mary Stayed Out All Night. I can't believe it has been two years since it was aired and how I streamed it online to see all of the episodes of MSOAN just so I could be satiated. However, I could never bring myself to watch the full content of the final episode because I couldn't bring myself to watch Kang Mu Gyul heartbroken when Ma Rie and Jung In sort of "pulled a prank" and held a not to be a wedding ceremony. I also had the most conflicted time to choose between wanting Wi Ma Rie to end up with Jung In or Mu Gyul.  Truthfully I wanted her to end up with Jung In and maybe it was because...character wise I couldn't believe Mu Gyul will stay true to Ma Rie or will ever commit himself to a real relationship because of how shi**y his background was. But I had to agree..Moon Geun Young and Jang Geun Seok seemed to be the most compatible pairing on screen and off screen. 

Moon Geun Young as Wi Ma Rie

Now that I finally finished it, I can at least give my last thought about Mary Stayed Out All Night. First of, I liked the fact that it was a rom com and Moon Geun Young nailed Wi Ma Rie character right on the dot. Wi Ma Rie was easy to adore. She was sincere, caring and most of all loyal.

Kim Jae Wook as Jung In

Jung In on the other hand was so fragile and willing to live his life dictated by his father. He was awkward and seemed to only had the ambition to be successful in his business and nothing else until he met Wi Ma Rie and seemed to prepare to really court her for real. He did fall in love with Ma Rie but he decided that he wouldn't be persuaded to marry her for his own benefit or because his father asked him too. I was a little sad..that they didn't end up together actually...because ...I did want my angel to save him and love him..hehehehe...

Jang Geun Seok as Kang Mu Gyul

Kang Mu Gyul was a free spirited man who was gifted with both look and musical talents. The other side of him however was not so completely neat. He was a man who couldn't understand the meaning of a family until he met Wi Ma Rie who persuaded him to sign a contract to be her fake husband for a 100 days. All because Wi Ma Rie wanted to get away from an arranged marriage with Jung In planned by their respective father. Things turned sweet for them after they get to know each other better. They fell in love land Kang Mu Gyul career as a musician slowly took off. Hence, they both can finally had a more comfortable relationship and lived together as a couple.

As the final curtain drawn, I'd say, I was a happy camper...nothing more..nothing less. I have said what I wanted to say..maybe...???..huhu

okay okay..I need to get back to work now..this is bad..

Happy working chinggus!!!

XOXO

To Build Real Relationship

Working and living happens at the same time. However, most of the time the people that comes to our life especially during our adult life when we are in the working stage are mostly people related to our work. Sometime we relate to them mainly because they are our co-workers or if they happens to be our suppliers we relate to them for business purpose. Rarely we relate to people because we wanted to build a real relationship with them as friends. They are merely an acquaintances.

I realized living while working without real relationship can be very lonesome. Because I don't want to live a lonely life, I decided to appreciate everyone in my working place not just as office mate but also as real friend. I want to understand and relate to them as friend because I really do not want to see them outside of the office and feel like they are strangers or someone I could not relate beyond the office work. My way of approaching things is that I try not to be someone who loads people with works that I myself do not want to do and at the same time I try to do as much work as possible or else I do my best to guide them to how I want things to be done by proper instructions and guidelines.  

The most important thing is, when I feel a connection with a colleague, nowadays I try my best to build a real relationship. In my opinion, if we have a real relationship with our colleagues at the workplace, even if we somehow made a mistake, a friend will be more understanding and won't be so harsh to back stab you or bad mouth you. Of course it doesn't mean I do not want to be criticized but there is always a difference between a concerned friend and plain critic. Right?

Right there...

Just a simple thought from me...for today...

Luv you all.

XOXO

What I Recently Watched

1) Ice Age 4.

I have watched almost all Ice Age series and I am loving all the characters. I especially have a soft spot for Diego because I found him really brave and charismatic?? (ekekekek). He abandoned his pack (bad pack) to be with his trusted friends Sid & Manny. I enjoyed every character actually. I loved the sincere simple minded Sid, the strong willful Manny and yeah..the clumsy rodent who are seriously obsessed with nuts.

2) From Up on Poppy Hill

This is a Japanese animated drama film with heart. I really like how it portrayed the people of Japan and their commendable culture. What I really like is how the main character, Umi take up her responsibility very seriously without slacking off. Her attitude in this story is something, that made me think about my own way of living. I think I need sometime to digest everything that I am thinking about this anime before I can really put it into words.

3) Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

Nothing much about this movie. I think it was just okay. However, I loved the scenic view of the lagoon in particular.

4) Budak Pailang

I really liked the first half of this movie, however it fell flat like a deflated balloon the second half. I really couldn't comprehend the sudden change in character of the two leads. There was no consistency in character. That's all I am going to say. However, the actress was damn pretty. isn't she ? :)

5) Big Miracle

Except for the "dry" trying to sound cool script, I do really like this movie. It's good that it was based on a true story about three whales trapped in Alaska and how many people came together to rescue it.

In short, 1) I really like cartoons, 2) I like anime even more and 3) Movie is really hard to like... :P

Okay. That's all for today.

Love

XOXO

A New Joy In the Family

A new baby is born

As you can see on the picture above (I have bought a few baby items as a present)..there is a newborn in the family. My younger brother is now officially a father. :) I am joyful myself because it means I have got a new nephew.. what a wonderful news to the family.. Praise The Lord.

I have wanted to share this news even earlier but I really was occupied and I am suffering tiredness these days. :)

I would have shared with you the born of a new baby as well 5 months ago which was the son of my second brother if only I made up my mind to share it on the spot but I keep postponing it because I was thinking of sharing with you the whole event on that particular day.. It's a missed opportunity. I hope I did not make a mistake of postponing the news this time around. There is indeed no better news than a news of a newborn baby. Right???

Of course..

XOXO

Your Personal Space is your Identity..

Since 5S started in my workplace..I mean really takes its effect in my workplace, I have been really enjoying myself doing all the arranging and decoration. I am fully using my imagination as if the whole room is in my head and I am picking stuff from the sky full of imagination to fill it up with things that I think will make it tremendously unique but nice. I am determined to make my room, a room that only me will be able to create it in such a way. If people walk in inside my office I would let them see who I am. That is my goal. 

This of course reminds me of one thing which is "identity". There are limits in conversation when we are trying to get to know people. However what lacking in words can be made up with his or her personal space. When you try to get to know someone you will know that person better when you see her or his room. This is of course not a fresh idea. It is an idea that everyone knows. This is how some reality show is made of. I don't remember the title but it was a show where a man or a girl was brought into different types of rooms and let her or him made a decision to date that person based on how she or he perceived his or her personality from the things she or him has in the room. I can agree to that. :)

Even bacteria only shows its true characteristic if you put it by itself or purified it in a media without the presence of other bacteria. A man is no different. Everyone needs a space for themselves to project their identity. It is the place where you can let people read you like a book and grabs their heart or scares them away.

I truly believe that if we really want to be happy, we must really do things that make us happy and one of those things are decorating your house or your office in such a way that brings you not only peace but joy because of how things are placed and arranged in front of you. It doesn't mean you are hoarding stuffs. It means you start to look for things that really makes you happy and try to get it (even if it cost you some money) because you need to enjoy life as it is. You can't keep postponing life to enjoy it later. You must enjoy it now and especially so where you are living and working.

Back to my story. I have bought this mini box to shelf my few favourites books and books that I am reading now (Kafka on the Shore and Wild Swans) to  bring to the office along with my seldom worn hand & body lotion and perfume spray. I thought of flipping this favourites books of mine when I am not so busy during the day. It would help to realign my thoughts every time I stray away from my main focus in life because these books contain some of the ideas I personally believed and try to put into practice in my life.

I believe words can change people perspective and whatever you believe in will define you as a person. I believe that reading and reaffirming that belief again and again is the best way to cultivate the right attitudes. Right?

Thanks to 5S I am now doing something I should have done years ago.. 

Don't you thing quality program is a real help when you really put your heart into it?

I am blessed indeed.

XOXO

The Tamu

Before I move on to a serious "talk"..maybe I should start with a light story first..:)

Wacaaaaa...How are you all? I am so damn tired and restless the past few days. It was like I never had my full energy from morning till night and even after sleeping punctually at 9pm I still don't feel energetic. ugh!!! The last few days must have taken its toll on my not so fit body. I should really start exercising..right?? 

By the way..ehemm...I tried my hardest to drag myself out of the house and enjoyed the farmer's market today..because you know..I really missed the chaotic market. This is the only place where you don't have to feel awkward mixing with people from various walks of  life because they are all in casual mode and not out there trying to impress anybody. People just come by to buy whatever things they needed and it is so very convenient because you can take your pick from the row of stalls that offer you various items from foods, flowers,clothes to pet. It's the mix of everything and it is so interesting because the sellers are allowed to attract people attention by using whatever devices they have like microphone. You can even put your "acting" skills to your full advantage and demonstrate to people how things work. It's a lovely sight. :)

And guess what really makes me..happiest?? when I can casually look for knickers laid on the mat at the cemented ground while the seller enjoyed her food. :)...* ekekeke..I mean you can't do that in the supermarket right?? The atmosphere is way too formal to act..informal?? I don't know what is the right term. But it is a difference between behaving in a certain way when you are in a different kind of situation. In short, you can just loosen up and enjoy yourself. It doesn't even matter how you turn up to the market. I even turned up a few times there..without washing up or brushed my teeth..ekekekek..:)

Earrings

One of my harvest this morning in the market is that pretty earrings (the left pic). Ehem...does it look nice?? :)

Of course I bought the most important thing as well which is vegetable. This is the place where you can find various types of fresh vegetables. If you have been eating lots of not so fresh vegetables from the supermarket, Saturday is the right time to make up for those days because in farmer's market the choices are immense. 

The Thing That Matter Most???

Don't make the same mistake of being self-centered favouring upon your work and your needs and therefore neglecting other people or your family. I read that somewhere and I do agree with that statement. But also looking at it in a different perspective I want to understand it much better. Hence, I write this article to gather my thoughts about this matter.

I know a certain somebody who really prioritize her own personal matters over work that often she left her job unattended or attended by others. She only wanted to know the result and not the process of how the work can be carried out. She is not open for discussion because it takes her time from doing her other important matters. She loves instructing and delegating duties but blind to the overall process. In short, I do not see why personal matters reign supreme than her work. She jeopardized other people efforts by simply being so into her own personal matters.

I know I am judging but hey..this is the reason why I go "kaput" every time work is mentioned in my dictionary. It is like a traumatic word because it reminds me of people who really have no interest in working at all. Just imagine if everyone in this world is only interested in their own personal matters.

I like people who take good care of their family and the people around them but also I like them even more for knowing when to draw the line between working effectively and functioning fully as a human being in recognizing and attending other people or family needs. I understand that family comes first but don't tell me it includes for example asking the driver to send your husband to the market because as far as I know the driver is not hired to attend to your personal needs. You don't pay his salary. Right? I am just saying.

I am sorry, I went a little overboard just now..ekekeke..So, honestly I am no better myself. As you perfectly know by now, I really am kind  of living my life completely like..all by myself. But it is not like I do not want to actively participate in society at large. It is because, in few words there are things I could not accept as of now to involve in certain kind of activities. I am not only scared but also I am not willing to be manipulated to portray a certain kind of image people are trying to make me into. Okay..that sounds...weird and confusing right?? hehehe..Well, I am not ready to explain that. But I agree..I shouldn't stay passive. I must look for ways to participate in some social activities that will help me to help others. Right??

Just one thing..being a woman is both an advantage and disadvantage. The disadvantage is that no matter how smart you are, men aren't always ready to accept it. But then again, just being a woman is already tough. It is because you are by society standard required to be PERFECT or SUPERWOMAN. You must have a good job (with high salary if possible so the man will have no worry to feed you, clothe you and attend to your needs and desires), you must be beautiful with flawless skin and svelte figure (or else the man will cheat on you and blame it on you for having a bloated figure), you must know how to cook (or the man will find a reason to go home late because you are not cooking), to keep the house clean (must not feel tired and do all that without fails regardless of how busy and tired you were at work), you must be socially adept to know how to please the family especially the MIL and FIL or the aunties and uncles (no excuse of PR problem or lack in social skills), you must make sure the children are bathed, clothed, fed and educated (you act as the personal tutor to check the homework or if you failed to teach them, you are deemed failed as a parent), you must keep tabs on the bill to make sure it is being paid, the groceries all bought and in short to always get up at 4.30am in the morning and sleeps at 12.00am in the morning just so everything run smoothly. I am not sure about you..but hey..it is not easy being a woman.

Anyway..since my topic is all about not being self-centered and about to not lose your focus on the other people beside you, I think we as human should only remember one thing which is "we must always treat other people the way we wanted to be treated". Okay?

Done with that..err..did I stray too far from the supposed to be discussed subject?? I hope not.

Love you all.

XOXO

Crazy High Heels

Except for the sounds of "cluck..cluck...cluck" when I am walking down the hallway, I really do love wearing heels. It isn't always comfortable but I love it anyway because I feel great wearing it.

Oh ya..the reason why I posted those pictures above is to announce to you that finally..finally..I can drive my car using that crazy heels. *clap hands.... ekkekekek

Good shoes they said will bring you a long way in life. In fact, it is always been emphasized that if you want to see a successful man, you might as well look at his shoes. And if you want to know a woman with good taste then you need to see the kind of heels she is wearing. But I am not the one to judge. However I do love looking at women especially those who knows how to look good in footwear and knows how to take care of their legs (foot, nails). It really shows some character in there.

Truthfully, I am new to this kind of thing. Firstly because It was never my priority to look pretty in shoes but also secondly I didn't have the eye for fashion when it comes to footwear.  I just pick whatever I think suits me. How well it goes with my clothes is another story. I have to admit I still couldn't tell what type of footwear from one to another but does it really matter? Maybe not.. The most important thing is??? What is it...I have not come up to a certain conclusion just yet..because I am still learning and still experimenting. 

For the time being..what matter most to me is to feel wonderful wearing what I am wearing. Hopefully one of these days, those crazy heels won't cause me to break an ankle or two..ekekekek. By the way I did post about those pumps that I bought because it was much more comfortable to wear, right?? I still have the same idea..but yeah...it goes with a different taste from day to day. Right?

Of course I am planning to stick with the one that don't cause my leg to suffer in the long term. It just that.."girl just wanna have fun" and be a lil like Victoria Beckham for a while...ehemmm

alrite..enough about shoes now. Off to do real work.. now where did I left of last night..ummm

To Blend In

I have decided to be 100% "myself". It is because I realized there is no use trying to change color just for the purpose of blending in. I have to admit that in the beginning of my career I changed my styles a lot to suit the work environment. It includes what clothes to wear and how I do my hair. However after a few years of working, I understood about one thing. I understood that although my clothes don't necessarily describe who I am as a person, it does reflect how I want people to view me. You get it? ekekekek.

Now, I want to feel relaxed and I no longer want to draw a line between being me at home and me at work. I would like to be myself the way that I really am everywhere I go. I want to be comfortable being me whatever I am doing. The reason why I stated that is because I used to feel very insecure about being the real me in a working environment that requires people to be in a certain standard. But then again, maybe it was my wrong assumption that lead me to that thinking. Perhaps also I was looking for someone I could follow in terms of styling but found none. Everyone is indeed very unique and to "blend" in is good but hard to do if somehow you can't find your own identity in it. It is like wearing someone else clothes when you are prettier wearing your own clothes. Unless of course you haven't found what truly suits you.

The real issue here is "blending in". As a teenager we try to look cool by blending in with the popular kids and do stuff we don't necessarily agree with. It still happens in the work place especially for women. They try to wear clothes or wear make up approved by their peers to blend in with them and as a way to not completely look like a black sheep in a herd of white sheep. 

I like myself as I am now and I think as long as I don't break any rules or do anything that will cause me to face prosecution or something, I am free to express myself however I like through wearing clothes that I think are suitable for me. By the way I really don't mean wearing sexy clothes at work, I only mean wearing clothes that I really do like without being influenced to wear clothes like the other people simply because I want to be accepted by them and because I do not want to look like a completely odd person among them. 

Wow..what a long story about "blending in"..:) hehehe..

Well..I guess I am loving myself much more these days that I don't mind people seeing me completely different. 

Okay. What should I wear tomorrow ya???..hmm..peplum again? ahh..I think that bright orange peplum really sets my mood. kekeke. Off to iron clothes now..*singing  huhuhuhu

XOXO